Dhinchak Deludedness

Of clouds and miniskirts

2011-06-27T20:59:00.004+05:30

I know what you're thinking. those dont really match, right?
damn you god and you logical world you.
rainy season should be filled with all hot girls taking out their less used skimpy clothings and showing some legs. because well, things are gonna get dirty anyway, right?

i meant if they wear jeans, theyre gonna get dirty.
but i like the way you think *winks

oh well. lucky for me, Im zen.
If i was the ruler of the world, everybody's breakfast would look like this

whaat eef yuu are vegetarian you ask?
ummm. have a sandwich.

in fact, now i have an idea.

heck, why not make the world vegetarian?
i would totally fund research into making plants which would grow meat instead of leaves and fruits.
ham flavored lettuce, succulent juicy pork potatoes, sausages instead of bhindi and funky beef pineapples.

wait. not pineapples.
because pineapples are evil.

but it makes you wonder, doesnt it?
instead of vegetarians randomly skewering drivers of meat trucks and lynching of the meat store owners, why not use that time to rather, come up with biocrops which take care of both the problems.
what, youre saying that didnt happen?
shit. must. stop. watching. india TV for news.

like buddha once said.
people, less hatin, more lovin.

sorry. wrong picture there....... eh, screw it.

deluded, educating the blogosphere, one wrong picture at a time.

which reminds me. went to Mcdonalds.
its not looking so good these days. or tasting that well either.
Ronald my friend, i always knew you were a pedophile what with so many kids on your lap and that creepy smile on your face, but this is ridiculous!

its seems you should go to a psychiatrist.
also..... probably get a prostrate examination done.

i dont hate you man, but well, just dont really like you either.
except you japanese versions. you guys are cool.

anyway, which again reminds me.
i was outdoor and watching this sexy young miss walking across the street wearing a really fancy hat, when somthing like this happened

which made me think : I would totally spoon her.

i guess it wasnt the poor pigeon's fault. the hat must have really looked like a target from above.
and the pigeon must have been a male.
because when it comes to men, micturition and seeing anything that resembles a target..........

women call it peeing, men call it target practice.
hey, hate the game, not the player!

and get that mental image out of your mind. you dirty dirty person.

which reminds me. my eyes are red (too much videos seen on youtube)(yes, youtube)(only that)(nothing else, really)(pinky swear)*crosses fingers

"beautiful veins in bloodshot eyes" has always been one of my favorite collection of words but i can never seem to get it inside an actual sentence.
any suggestions?

anyway. chill out dudes. the weather is awesome.

2010-10-21T01:09:00.002+05:30

it started around a week before today.
now it feels like eternity.

sonali.
i had seen her for the first time, at the mess.....well, in a mess...

it was 2 pm, and since that's when lunch break ends, everyone was in a rush. i had just had my
food and was washing my hands when i saw a hottie in a red salwar, washing her hands right next
to me.
she was hot.
oh whatta rack man.

anyway, continuing the story
I washed my hands, and as i was going outside, i felt someone stepping on my foot. I turned around, to see a girl holding a half filled food tray. most of which, was on her jeans now. she looked around, but nobody stopped to help. everyone was late. thats life. deal with it. that's when i got the sms that changed my life that day :
'dude. no need to come. class cancelled, got all present'

i looked up from my phone to see that she was still squatting on the floor, trying to clean up. I went up next to her, picked up her tray, put it in the washing tray, without a single attempt to speak to her. i came back to see her flick off pieces of gobhi masala with her index finger

you should play carrom, i said, as i handed her a tissue paper to wipe the gravy off her.
are you an item girl? you have loads of 'masala' (mental jump : woohoo! I'm on fire)
she laughed. a clear sonorous laugh.
no, Im sonali, she said
and late for class? i added
no use now.....i'l be thrown out anyway, so..... she said
same here, I lied
can i treat you with coffee?

that's how it started

we talked that whole day.
and the next.
and the next.

how come you dont have a boyfriend? i finally ventured
because Im into girls she winked and laughed (oooooh that laugh.....)
what a coincidence, Im a lesbian too, i said
she laughed (naaice.) but dont you need to be a girl to be that?
it's not the gender, it's the state of mind, i replied
you're funny, she said
thanks, I smiled
by the way, that masala joke you made, was so lame, but i couldnt help but laugh, she winked

that night
(is she into me? is she into me? is she into me? is she into me? Im hungry. do i have chips? do I have chips? do i have chips?)

i told my best friend Asha about her
tell me tell me tell me tell me, is she into me? i asked
lemme look at her myself first...... she finally agreed, hesitant

that day, asha 'coincidentally' came to where we were talking, next to a fountain. they hit it off pretty well. and soon were talking like bff's (how i hate that word)
she's the most awesome girl Ive met, sonali texted later
i love her, texted asha

so, what's your expert advice? I asked, later
well, I can tell you she isnt dating any guy right now, at the least.... asha said
oh asha, if you werent my best friend, I'd be dating you , I kidded
yeah right, she picked her nose while saying that

(woop woooop wooooooooooooooop)
its funny how if you get even a slightly positive answer, you start jumping out of your pants

i feel different, with you.........so comfortable.....like i can open up, and Ive never felt that with any guy...only with girls..... she said
open up then, i joked with a hand signal which is too graphic to write it down (kids these days have internet)
she laughed (so awesome.....) Im serious
awww....... cho cute, I mimicked her
Im not cute! I feel like Im a guy trapped in a girl's body! Im so different that what you think i am! she said
okay okay, cool down dude, I panicked
anyway, like i was saying, she continued as if nothing had happened a few seconds before

(present day)

morning thoughts
(i should ask her out, ask her out, ask her out)
thoughts in class
(i should ask her out, ask her out, ask her out)
thoughts at lunch (she wasnt there.....she had gone out shopping with asha)
(i should ask her out, ask her out, ask her out)
thoughts in the evening
(i should ask her out, ask her out, ask her out)

meet me at 9, next to the fountain, we'll have dinner after that, I messaged
okay :) my treat, i have good news, she replied
lol, did you finally get a dress to wear after window shopping in 20 shops? ;) I texted
you'd be surprised ;) meet you there! she replied

thoughts at 8 30
(flowers, flowers, flowers, fuck i forgot)

i ran off in the opposite direction of the fountain, towards a place where no one has seen me in or around.....the flower shop, it's there that i saw at the edge of the road, behind a tree......

it all came back to me

'Im into girls'
'she's the most awesome girl Ive met'
'i love her'
'she isnt dating any guy right now, at the least'
'Ive never felt that with any guy...only with girls'
'Im so different that what you think i am!'

i remembered the glint in their eyes when we all sat together next to the fountain....
i could see the same glint in their eyes now, while they caressed each other's bodies, i imagined a fire in the air around them

i turned around and went back to my room

learn from my failure : next time a girl says she's into girls, ask : seriously?!!!

okay. that was fictional.
but you got all turned on, eh?

here, cool down with the cool band that i just discovered

(thanks for the link Saima!)

bwahahahaha!

2010-09-24T20:47:00.000+05:30

new favorite quote of all time :

kya watermelon ass hai yaar

XD

in the beginning of mankind, there was a king, and he could partay like the mountains snowed

2010-09-19T11:22:00.006+05:30

Good morning you sleepy cows

ABCD's coming!

now if you're not a manipalite, you're probably scratching your head right now

you manipalites are smiling.

and all of you guys, who have come here to look at something perverted, which, according to the search queries on my blog, are a LOT!

well. umm. hi
*waves

deluded: doing socially inappropriate things since the dawn of mankind.

also, who came to my blog by searching world's prettiest person?!
lol

well, since you are all hungover, lets give you something to wake up

have some lime juice.

i bet you didnt realise that the picture was blurry huh?
it happens.

okay. so. back to ABCD.

i finally found out it stands for : annual ball cum dinner
and not what i had previously thought : All the Babes in Class Drunk dancing

although, that is a big part of what is going to happen....

welcome to ABCD after party, the drunkeiest junkiest hottest and the most fun party you will experience in mbbs.
unless, youre one of those nerdy guys who stand in the corner of the room and stare at girls you like
or, youre one of those nerdy girls who come fully clothed in a salwar that drapes around your neck and is a faded pukey yellow in color......WHY?!!!
or those of you who are going for abcd, and not coming for the after party.

so, here's some pointers to all of you guys wondering about how you should go about it.

the full abcd package consists of :

part 1 : ABCD proper

description:

everybody has to sit, the guys in suits and the girls in sarees, in that boring college function which falls into my category of parties as 'uncle aunty function' and watch someone sing with a veena, or if worse, see the dean jiggle his thang to kajra re. i just hope our kind and respected staff, with a slightly high BMI do not think of doing thing something on a similiar line

blegh.

disturbing image.
just imagine older people.

and then we'll have some food to eat
going by the falling level of our college day food, i would ask some of you to......use caution

pluses:
see crush in saree
other hot girls in saree, laughing around and talking about lame stuff.
food might be good.

minuses:
uncle aunty function
lots and lots of that.
getting hot inside a big huge suit which you'll have to pwn from some place.
food might be bad

suggested plan of action:
get high.
antiemetic in case of food failure.

part 2 : after party

description:

biggest party of the year. hot girls strutting their stuff. most people drunk. some in the corner sitting and drinking juice and getting awkard. some outside, puking, coming back in for more booze. and at random dark corners of the night some lucky guys making out with hot girls.
this, till next day, when you can have a hungover breakfast and go back.

pluses:
get to drink with your crush and have interesting conversations.
lots of other hot girls just in case.
drunk.
hopefully.

minuses:
ummm....

suggested plan of action:
get high. as high as you ever have. and then, more.
dont persist on a girl who doesnt respond when you hit her up. or she might cry rape(knowledge taken from a wise senior)(and ive always said : drunk girls go both ways)(you dirty minded person)
get someone to make out with you.
if you dont, just get more high. it's worth it.

okay, so now the biggest part

GET A HOT DATE.

and i dont mean read the book!
get a proper living walking drinking making out sort of date.

so, all you guys out there, get your gears running and ask almost anyone you can

and if you're a hot girl reading this, and you're free, please gimme your number!

peace out.

Intro and contact

2010-07-01T20:01:00.003+05:30

hi, and welcome to delusional rain

now, you all might be wondering(specially all you hot girls out there)

"wow! you're hot!"

no?

i didnt exactly get the reaction i expected. but, oh well.

carrying on

you're wondering what's with that blog title?
awesome.

you see, i was inspired, by a wonderful wonderful link on youtube.
you wanna see right?
here you go

oh. sorry. wrong one.
but that DID make me think : maybe i should change it to deluded chopsticks.
or jelly donuts.
any takers for that?

so. here's the real one :

agreed?
rain is. awesome.

also,
after i got the title part done, there's that little annoying space right below it.
subtitle/ description/ little header/ gumball/ chasm of death. call it what you want, but its an important part of the blog, right?

so, i got a few ideas.

delusional rain
gets you wet with excitement(as in, it rains excitement?)(you. dirty mind. stop grinning)

and then i wondered, would blogger throw me off because of that? probably.

delusional rain
saves you from the sunlight

then these two images got into my mind.

the only people who'd hide from the sun would be...... twilight thingies

and this guy.

wouldnt want any of that. definitely.

delusional rain
batman is awesome.

still wondering on that one....

delusional rain
got milk?

no? damn.

sigh.
oh well.

Im still.......looking for the answer.....

also, if you wanna send me some

1. questions(for delusional answers)
2. money
3. just wanna say hi
4. you're the one who stole my umbrella and want to return it
5. your mail ids or phone numbers

mail me at : alwaysritwick@gmail.com

or hit me up on facebook

http://www.facebook.com/ritwickchatterjee

peace.

the yellow back canary

2010-03-04T09:11:00.001+05:30

tweet tweet a yellow back canary
did you know your beak was hairy
i bet that that was not intended
you should sue nature, get money and spend it
roses are not quite so nice
wouldnt you rather be smelling rice?
play a card game, with a dice
if its more fun that way, play twice
i get that you ...are tired and weary
but you say that its quite contrary
kittens can be rude and scary
but dont worry, cause your beak is hairy!

your mind is a double egded....... tomato!

2010-01-28T21:45:00.007+05:30

I was in the library, and.....

blood.

my blood.

bloody red blood.

red, dark blood.

red, frank blood.

red, frank, copious amount of blood.

red, frank, copious amount of blood.

yeah, well, i kind of ran out of medical terms to describe blood.
now, if you had thought 'sputum', THATS another story.

every medical student has a different description of sputum.
we're bred to believe sputum can look like a strawberry milkshake(pink and frothy) or coffee(no biggie - coffee colored sputum) or that it can rust(rusty sputum) or even paan

colored because you know, you just had a paan, and you LIKE paan)

that reminds me.
this movie has such a funky name.
even if the poster is one of the lamest ones Ive seen.

that also reminds me,
inflation from the point of view of a paan waala i met, inflation is something similiar to flatulence.

also, overheard in a train
'har aadmi ke peeche ek mahila hoti hai, aur uske peeche, sonia gandhi'
hard thought to ponder about.

so, i went to the library the other day
where the latest(since like 2 years, Im not sure, I rarely GO) trend is of low rise jeans.

hot girls have been making pretty good use of it, flouting their thangs.

the guys, however, not so much.

its not a low rise, if you just wear your normal jeans lower than where its supposed to be.

seriously.
it looks like you have no ass.

unless, its a bit too revealing.

okay.
that was a disturbing image in your head, specially if youre a guy and youve been to the library.

here.
hot chick, to refresh your mind.

oh, yes, the blood, you were wondering, werent you?

connect all the bloody red letters in the post, and you shall unravel the mystery.

get to work, lads.

I was in the library and.......

:P

funky underwear tantrik sex

2009-11-29T01:09:00.001+05:30

good guys never end up good.

looking for updates, werent you?

go away.

shooo!

really. go away.

alright, fine. you win.
I give up.

the reason for unblogging for a while, was, well, I had other things to do!
like sleep, eat a sandwich, sleep, drink milkshake, sleep, rage a war, sleep, play need for speed, sleep, wardrobe malfunction, bite into a chocolate, sleep, you know the usual.

did you catch the wardrobe malfunction in there?
good boy!

on that note, for the slighly deludish readers out there : if it happens inside a single room when youre the only one in it, it cannot be called a wardrobe malfunction.

anyway.

whats with girls and linda goodman?

is it an eternal crush kind of thing?

the breeds of females who know how to brush their hair, is still less than the linda goodman female fan population!

i dont get it.
what the heck?

there are so many snide comment like
oh, he's wierd. must be pisces.
oh, she gets angry easily, must be leo.
oh, thats mud, must be an earth sign.
oh, fountain, water sign ppl must be around.
oh, its a hot girl in a short skirt, must be katrina kaif.
oh, its deluded, lets all go have crazy sex.

some of that may not be the actual comment.

so okay.
i had my future read by some really tantrik people and asked them the eternal question(will i get a girl? ever?)
(mostly on the internet)(because its free)(and free is ALWAYS great!)

palmistry expert: hmm. you have deep lines. your venus mounds are not prominent.
deluded :(venus mounds? WTF!!?)
P: but still, your luck line is tortuous and your life line is intersecting with your brain line which in turn intersects with your t shirt line, that means there is a holy triangle formed inside your pants corner, blah blah blah, other stuff
D:so, the answer to my question............
P: you have a good chance, really. but......
D: but.......?
P: youre a loser.
D> the cursed punch!
P>hospitalised

astrologist: i see that your sun is in a quadrant unfavourable to your neptune tendencies
D: that makes sense. yes. and?
A: your mars tower of babel is nearing its true height, and this shall cause your moon to be specially attracted to someone else's venus mounds.
D:(what is it with venus mounds?!!)
D:so......the answer?
A:youre a loser
A: the future looks bleak, but it shall turn golden if you buy my book(only Rs.735) and follow the direction, take me as your god, and give me money...
D> fist of the sun!
A>black eye

astronomist: erm what?
D: oops. wrong person
A: security!
D>achilles heel!
A>falls to ground clutching

gemologist: i believe what you need is a cat's eye gem on your index finger, that way you'll be less of a loser. or perhaps a sapphire....
D: i believe you need my middle finger up your.......
G>runs away
D>cheh. got away

D:ooh, nice hat with the peacock feather and all
divination person: welcome dear loser, how can i help you today.......
D>divine punishment

girl eating ice cream: youra loosa
D: err, what language? kannada gotilla

security guard: hey lo........
D>hidden buddhist arts: thousand years of pain

so.
anyway.
thats that.

dont you dare say anything starting with 'lo', you twits
(sammy :P)

oh, unless youre a hot girl, and you want to say you love me. then youre pardoned.

babaspeak

2009-11-20T22:22:00.001+05:30

jab pait main ho khaana, to sabh kuch suhaana!

what happens when two like minded(crazy) people meet on gtalk

2009-10-28T20:47:00.002+05:30

deluded:
eat a plum!
drink some water.
and lick your finger, covered in gum
Sammy:
and jump off a building
deluded:
onto a moti waali lady
sammy: hawwww
deluded:
and bounce off into the next building
sammy: elastic limit ka khayaal karna
warna bounce back ke bajayeee
...
messy scene ho jaye ga
deluded:
keep doing said activity until you cross the ocean
there, eat a bagel
b/c its, you know, international
sammy: haha
deluded:
piss in the open sea
sammy: interpol pakray gi ab
sheesh
deluded:
then piss on interpol waala computer
that make it go, bad booom boom
sammy: AHAHAHAHAHA
sleep with the fishes
lol
deluded:
you cannot possibly piss more, b/c you know.......tanki khaali
Saima: ahahahahah
LMAO
deluded:
so, go slap a french person
sleep with his girlfriend
sammy: she'll slap you
deluded:
shout viva la lalalalalaaaaaaaa
take a bottle of wine, hit it on a bus conductor's head
chop off your little finger
eat another bagel
stop the bleeding by using a silk cloth
wear a turban and shout choco attack!!
go to greece
look at hot greece girls
ask 5 of them out
get rejected
swallow sadness
sammy: dont forget slaps!!
deluded:
fly to mexico
ear a burrito
sammy: die of swine flu
deluded:
fart loudly.
sammy: ahahaha
deluded:
and then let loose a 'silent killer'
sammy: ahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
*bangs head on the keyboard
deluded: take a dump behind some bushes, b/c you know, its been a while
sammy: aww becharay
deluded: swim in a river
of mexican beer
sing a hindi song
call a mexican guy and say
hey sombrero
I be el polo loco
bow before me, peasant!
sleep with a hot mexican girl
make sure she takes a bath before though
fly to the moon
bomb the russians from there
sammy: dream on
deluded:
steal some moonshine
sammy: oooh
deluded:
fly to canada
sammy: save some for meeeeee
deluded:
eat a bagel
eat another bagel, its sooo friggin cold
burn the trees
wrestle with a polar bear
hit him between his legs
find out that its a she
run for your life
swim underwater
come up in front of australia
call their prime minister a nigga
eat a hat
eat a bagel. good for digestion
cut your arm off
regenerate.
eat a bagel. youre tired.
slap some australian cricketers.
say wassssuuup matey in a bad
go to a topless beach
throw some money into the sea
catch a crab
eat it
catch a great white shark
cook it into a bagel
eat the bagel
behead yourself
regenerate, with better hair this time
eat chinese food
watch some anime
buy a katana
sammy: in china now?
japan now
deluded:
no no, australia se hi
sammy: hahaha
khan kha tax lagay ga
deluded:
its cheaper there, black market!
sammy: oooh
then dont forget to sell a kidney
deluded:
cut off australia with your super great ultra super sword
into 3 parts
eat one part
slash everything, until only the topless beach is left
hang out there for a week
sammy: HAHAHA
deluded:
bomb the russians
see some diff types of 'bomb' at the beach
ooooh. missiles!
fly into the sun
sammy: torpedos
deluded:
lol
throw fireballs from there to saturn
burn saturn
sammy: great
deluded:
burn china
sammy: u went off to teh universe
but u didnt visit pakistan
deluded:
go to pakistan
eat kebabs
sammy: chicken walay!
sastay walay
deluded:
look at legendary hot lahori girls
sammy: :P
deluded:
meet a karachite chick
sammy: *snort
deluded:
touch her hand
get chased by extremists due to it
run to the middle east
sammy: hahaha
deluded:
sell your pee as water(theyd buy anything. yellow liquid gold? no?)
you know, b/c its been a while
eat a bagel
fly to mt everest
take a dump there, to make it 2 inches taller
fly to europe
get high on weed
get into a gay club
run the fuck out
sammy: a friend with weed is a friend indeed(sammyism)
deluded:
get into a lesbian club
announce that, since you like girls, you MUST be lesbian
have a threesome
fly to africa
do the kamehameha wave(dragonball Z)
take out africa with it
take out a giant whale, throw it on top of asia
let it sink due to its weight
bomb the russians
eat a bagel. tired.
pee on the americans
eat a mexican
bomb russia
burn south america
eat a german
eat a bagel
take a dump in the ocean
bomb whatevers left
fly into the sun
bomb earth
let it burst
go into hibernation, for future generations
remember to keep an extra large supply of bagels
never know when you need em
hmmmm
yeah
Im done :)
sammy: *silent treatment
deluded:
dude. Im SO posting this on my blog!
sammy: yeah you should!!!

food law 15

2009-09-20T02:43:00.000+05:30

that which hast burned while going in shall also burn while it cometh out.

Im a slow motion accident

2009-09-13T23:51:00.000+05:30

the sky looks dark
but the clouds, glitter away
you take the world and grasp on it
holding everything
that you could feel

moon go ahead, and talk to me
tell me everything
that we could be

you take your hand
and feel the wind
and all I see
is a perfect shine
your bright eyes, show a glint of red
you scan the sky
with a turn of head

the trees wave their,
branches
asking you, to sway their way

moon go ahead, and talk to me
tell me all the things
that you can see

your eyes, are black and watery
they remind me
of saucerpans
the innocence you dream with
is never unwanted

you stand, all alone
watching me watching you
on a hilltop of, pretty green
and all I am, is holding breath

just because you know Im there
youre waiting, with a permanent stare
I raise my hand and reach for you
wanting everything, and everytime

moon go ahead, and come to me
forget all the things
that you can see

I watch you, running
and I stand there, just waiting
with outstretched hands, I wait for you
feeling every breath, watching every move

moon go ahead, and hug me tight
lose your every fear
because, this is too right

that perfect touch, that we can feel
youre my bird, and Im your tree
with the wind, your hair flows free
with your eyes closed
you can see

your hands feel hungrily
your breath does smell, chocolaty
the warmth you need
is in our bodies

moon go ahead, and kiss me
lets be everything
that we can be

whats more random?

2009-09-13T11:14:00.001+05:30

crying out 'domestic violeeeence' everytime someone fights

or.......

crying out 'dieeeeee! peter pan!!!!!!!!!!!!' at random times during the day

??

statistics has it

2009-09-02T16:59:00.001+05:30

if they were given that option

more guys would turn lesbian than girls turn gay.

deluded rant: self made

2009-08-31T20:58:00.004+05:30

a three course meal :

bread pizza
egg chowmein
sausages and scrambled eggs

with pineapple juice to go

a satisfied tummy.
a constant grin.
the smell of barbecue percolating in every wall of the room, all my clothes and even my pillow for at least a week more.

heaven.

whatever you're going through, its not worth dying.

2009-08-29T22:20:00.003+05:30

swine flu, nibes and chowmein

so. yes. old news first.

swine flu came to manipal. yes.
people got infected.yes.
a student got infected. yes.
lots of post graduates got infected. yes.

did we get a holiday?

umm.

no.

the problem with medical colleges, is, that the dean is also a doctor.

and theyre not scared easily, be it swine flu or amy winehouse or even asia sarkar.

vibes 09

the poster for it shows joker(from the now famous batman movie) in a foggy background.
writing with lipstick :

vibes so serious...?
(seriously dudes. just because it rhymes doesnt mean it fits!)

as usual, with each year, the college fest t shirt gets worse and worse.

I just dont get it.
they put an inverted color MJ oh the back, show an umbrella a rain cloud and other crappy things and wrote something equating vibes with why(dude. just because it rhymes..... no wait. it doesnt even rhyme dammit!) that I dont remember(and I dont even wanna!)
that seems like a potential success from theory.
but they managed to make even that really really sucky.
and then tried to sell it for 225 rs.

anyway.
when a blank page was passed around with the following written on it : names for vibes T shirt

the batchmates came up with replies:

ugh!
argh!
awwwww.
not needed.
NAD
micheal jackson?!!
you aint got my size, I aint got your money
cant I just borrow yours?
no
it sucks!
T shirt- WHAT TSHIRT?!!!!
WTF??

and my personal favourite:

meanies!

a total of one person was actually willing to buy that t shirt.

you could have made the t shirt pink, drawn flowers on it, written gay revolution on it, and it would still sell more that what they tried.

I mean, come on.
even if you just wrote vibes 09 on the front, kmc manipal at the back people would buy it in dozens.

uh-oh. perhaps I said that too loudly.

they did that.

with one modification.

they put a huge line in front of vibes, now making it nibes (no, vibes?)

sigh.

ingenuity and good business sense:

not yours.definitely.

chowmein

have now made roommade chowmein.
which actually doesnt taste too bad.
so that, now increases the spectrum of my self sustenance cooking by a good huge margin.

thats one small step for man.
one giant leap for hostelfoodkind.

sigh.

your body is a wonderland

2009-08-23T10:19:00.005+05:30

a friend and I were discussing.

why it would have been so easy if we had just taken commerce for our 10+2. because then...

1.we would have not had to study our asses off in school
2.or college
3.or later
4.by the age that we get our degrees in medicine, we would have been earning.
5.a shit load of money
6.which would be greater than a doctor's peak anyday.
7.all the 'cool' and non nerdy and hot girls are there.
8.we would have gotten laid.
9.we would have smoked pot by 17.
10.we would have gotten laid. multiple times.
11.we would be wearing low waist jeans and the same color of jockeys(we would own just one) everyday
12.we would have gotten laid.mutliple times.by multiple people.
13.medical students would be cursing our luck on how we manage to earn, have a girlfriend and enjoy life while they dont even have a degree.
14.we would have pubic hairstyles on top of our heads.
15.we wouldnt have been able to crib about anything and everything.
16.we would be in a drunken stupor right now.
17.and on muchloadsofweed.
18.we woulnt be cribbing about singleton.we would have said that it rocks.
19.and none of us would have a blog, unless it was ordered to us by our girlfriends.
20.oh!we would have girlfriends!
21.hot ones.

this guy took the right decision in 10+2

this guy took biology, it seems.

but you know. I still wouldnt trade my places with a commerce guy right now. thats because....
we may crib, but we have our pride(something only med students may understand)
huge self respect.
loads of money, someday, hopefully.
a future plan.
work enjoyment(not applicable to students)
emphysema and cirrhosis on a later stage of life.
straight hair.
mutiple pairs of underwear.

unless of course I get a hot girl in the exchange
then, toh..........

*this was a work of fiction and of multiple drunk medical students.
*not resembling anyone in reality and not made to make fun of others.
*unless you really DO have one pair of underwear and pubic hairstyles.
*dude. thats sick.
*eww.

Guest post : tumultuous suspension

2009-08-19T18:24:00.006+05:30

so. yes. Im lazy.

and awesome.

hence, I got this awesome hot blogger woman to write for me.

a little background first-
she's hot.
lives in a metro.
has a huge house worth around a million bucks (frigging rich, in short)
has a swimming pool in that house.
also has a pool table.
and a tennis court.
and likes to hire beyonce for evening music.
also, she's hot.
and has promised to pay me 2000 rs for this.
and treat me to milkshakes.
yay.

so, here goes :

A heel scrape against the floor
A roll of tissue one just tore
A subdued cough behind the door
A silent phone on vibrate mode

Strange, but it does upset,
Innocent bathroom sounds
Are always suspect.

.........

short and sweet.

thats how a girl once described my............

little finger.

pervs.

I tried getting you all a picture, because she's so hot, but *privacy*

hence, the closest I got to was through google image search :

apparently she ended up with jackie chan, so, all's well and that ends well.

p.s. requesting guest posts from anyone and everyone who's interested !
including you, bongie/pongie

Independence never meant much : part 2

2009-08-15T23:06:00.000+05:30

Chennai trip : the to be continued version

A. Sunday morning

there's something about brothers bonding thats just unexplainable. cant be written down. converted to shallow words.

and then again.

there's gloria gaynor.

I WILL SURVIVE.

best.song.for.singing.along.ever.

had breakfast. eggs and toast. brother dear has overtaken me on the art of cooking eggs. cheh.

aforementioned stud bhai, then bluetoothed sexy songs to aforementioned stud phone.

B. train trip to mangu

slept.

listened to songs.

slept.

helped an uncle wearing a red shirt with pinapples drawn on it(retro much?) carry his guitar off the train.

C. back to planet bad food

uncle then asked me where I was going.
then after a short conversation, offered me a lift to aforementioned college.

I expected a bike. or a cycle.

but then, it turned out, he had a huge big rich ass car with a huge rich big ass driver waiting.

*danger signs shooting around in brain*

when a rich uncle with a very avant garde dressing sense, offers you a lift in a car.

be scared.
very scared.

I was on guard for the whole journey.

but then.

I admit gladly.
I was wrong to.

no uncle touching. no inappropriate jokes from any uncle that day.

his name was kurien.
rich banker something who came to oversee some bank thing that only bank people have interest in.

he then proceeded to be extremely friendly in a non gay way.

told me things about things that I had no idea about.
about places to eat and drink in manipal I had never heard of.

and also.
this little gem : oh. youre from KMC? yeah. I guessed so. Ive seen a lot of MIT guys, and almost 2 out of 3 have pubic hair on their heads. I just dont get that.

D. afterthought

as I think about it now.
it would have been much more fun, talking to Kurien if I hadnt thought that there was something fishy.

he was like the chennai guys, people wtih good hearts.
and its now that I realise the problem I have with KMCites.
we just dont trust each other.
its been so long. Ive trusted rarely. and almost never been trusted back.

yes. non funny post my friends.

this indepence day, I didnt get up early.
I didnt do anything that made me feel any national spirit.

I stayed in.
and I thought.

I declare my freedom.

to trust.
and to trust without thinking about what may happen if anything goes wrong.
trust others with my hopes. my ideas. my secrets. my money. my pens. my life.

life is too short?
says who?
I think its too long.

but you know.

err.

ummm.

I forgot the point I was making.

jo bhi.

P.S. TS. much apologies for the much wait. it shall be on next? inafewdays. woo!

Saturday was the highlight of the month : part1

2009-08-04T20:22:00.002+05:30

Chennai trip: what the heck happened version.

A. the bus trip to mangalore

nausea.
no male to male fondling. yay!

B. mangalore to chennai - west coast express

uneventful.
until........

3 of us sitting side by side, doing nothing in particular.
an uncle comes and sits in front of the middle person.
uncle has his 'lungi' folded up to form a mini skirt that would make katrina blush.

remember the scene from basic instinct?
the sharon stone uncrossing and crossing her legs, one?

of course you do.

decency fail.
youtube win.

exactly.
in front of three horrified males.

underwear:the greatest invention by man since mary sugar.

uncle:definitely not wearing one

C. the convocation

bhai graduated!
learned to play jeopardy.

sigh. thats one thing that I miss in college. nobody plays cards here. ever.

D. after convocation party

THE GREATEST PARTY ON EARTH EVER only.

the one thing I learn, every single time I go to IIT chennai.

most manipalites are selfish. dont trust each other. and dont have much conversation.
mostly.

in contrast.
the people there.

it wouldnt be an understatement to say that they were awesome.

also. I finally got that feeling

that feeling, that I havent experienced since a long time.

s

se

se*

see,you have a perverted mind.

it was.

being social.

I made more friends that night, than Ive made here since 1st year.
no joke that.

jussu, dedh, aniket(mam**), bulla, hoola, moli, hancock(moli's stud cous), dilli, s9, bhondu, hulk and all the others who's names I cant remember, but were still so cool.
salut.

is there just a lack of good people around?
or is it something else?

request to all good manipalites reading this: please mix around a bit more.specially with me :)
see - Im even putting in a smiley.

^^
attempt at coolness and ungayness fail.

jo bhi.

the point being.
I had a great time. made loads of friends.

and and and.

drinking status has now been changed from
never ever ever
to
never ever unless under special circumstances.

special matlab, special
*winks

*looks pointedly at bongie and pongie and songie
*winks again

E. Saturday morning

only the greatest morning ever.
details are unprintable because of the scandalous content
*winks twice

F. saturday night

went to buy a new charger with jussu.

found out that motorola has stopped producing in India.

jussu then tells me to buy a new phone, and offers half of the price
(oh, the well hearted. how I much respect.)

brother then spent his first salary on moi.

so from now on.

I like to touch it a lot these days.

I touch it in class.

I touch it in clinics.

I even touched it once behind the professor's back.

I touched it when everyone was looking at me.

I even touched it when everyone was staring at my............

my new touchscreen.

*goes off to touch it some more.

tripartite.

2009-07-27T14:39:00.005+05:30

thats an 'e' at the end. not 's'.
pervs.

part1 : sexual approaches

so. yes.

mangalore bus trip.

what do manipalites do for fun, you ask?
they go to the closest mall available.

which is a 2 hr bus drive away.

deluded fail.
nausea win.

case1: sitting at the last bench of the bus. out of six seats, 5 are taken. there's a space between me and a hot MIT chick.
rest of the bus=empty
a very kuntry uncle suddenly comes up and sits between us.
oh well, naive naive me thinks he just came to see the MIT chick and maybe grope.

aaah. india.

well. if only it was that simple.
uncle then decides its a good idea to start rubbing his thighs against mine.

mangalore bus trip: the EFFING FREAKING OUT version

case2: uncle finally gets up. deluded breath of security.

random MIT guy with pubes for hair comes up and sits in the space instead.
oh well. he cant be worse.

deluded: hoping in vain that something good might happen for 21 yrs.

said MIT guy the proceeds to sleep. on the shoulder of........wait for it........NOT the hot MIT chick.
stupid brainless git.
2 hours of shoulder pain.

oh well, the good thing was, it happened to be a conversation starter with the mit chick.
I said: I have attractive shoulders, it seems. everybody's heads just seem to.......
she: smiles

classic

deluded: not classy since 1988

so, events like these, coupled with the fact that whenever I eat out, I find some
random person staring at me always. have made me recount my luck.

to read my first such encounter, go here

damn you FSM.

yup. poor homme.

deluded: hit on by the wrong kind of people in the wrong kind of way.

life: not going good ever since section 377 was taken out.

part2: harish patel

thats what the indian harry potter is called.

what did I do in mangu, you ask?
movie of course.

right choice because:
hot girl sitting next to me, making orgasmic sounds at every scene
emma watson has grown, in the right places

wrong choice because:
it seemed like a chick flick. with 90% of the audience being girls(right choice because : good view)
mangalore bus trip.
had to hide face from a lot of batchmates, to avoid questions on manliness.

also, I noticed that harry potter has boobies.

during the last scene of the movie, while I was watching emma watson's ~~chest~~ face, I saw that the guy had a bigger ~~chest~~ face.
diagnosis: gynaecomastia

actual reason: wind

part3: hot girls

firstly, its a sad sad day for bloggerworld.

a hot bloggergirl is leaving us, it seems.

so, please.
go here and leave a comment asking her to come back.

much love.

secondly, a good friend of mine from college(hot girl, of course) tells me that there are 2 other hot girls who wouldnt mind going out for dinner with me.

although she tells me that they were actually high and said that sarcastically.
and afterwards downed a whole litre of booze at a go.
and then killed a snake.
and then read a forensic medicine book.
ate an elephant.
and kissed manmohan singh.

wild thing.
you make my heart sing.

sigh.

deluded: not getting hit upon since 1850

part4: bonus

going to chennai on thursday!
for a measly day and a half.

brother getting his degree.

official reason: me going to represent the family at the convocation

actual reason: me going to see the drinking party afterwards.

what'll I do there, you ask.

eat peanuts.

also.

the people who came to this blog by searching 'hot indian girl washing clothes' through google.

I hope you had a good lesson.

pervs.

let the rain fall down, and wake my dreams

2009-07-15T20:16:00.012+05:30

A wise man once said

it doesnt rain in manipal
it pours.

actually, that would be a good thing.

but it doesnt JUST rain.

it comes with heavy horizontal rain, free of cost.

which turns something like this in the imagination

into this(as demonstrated by my good chinky dost)

and then, the umbrella goes from something like this

to this(as demonstrated by babu lal and his wife)

also, the rain drops dont just go pitter patter against your umbrella
each drop drops with a bang.

which makes you imagine something like this

as this

and thus while travelling from your hostel to the hospital(something like 5 mins by foot)

you end up

wet, cold , very wet, very cold and late for class.

also, you might end up outside of class as well.

but, there is one remedy to this.

and that is

and then, if youre lucky, you might get to see

(picture inserted due to popular demand)

I could totally do that.

if only there wasnt a class to go to.

feh.

and someone once sang

Once the cloud that's raining
Over your head disappears
The noise that you'll hear
Is the crashing down of hollow years

sigh.

however, what I say is,

it doesnt pour in manipal.
it rains.

sometimes beautifully.

She's got you high, and you dont even know it

2009-07-10T23:08:00.004+05:30

aah. yes.

where was I?
you dont wanna know.

Hmm.

hot baths are nice.

how many times have you thought that?
7-8 times a month?

hot baths are a power of good.

how many times have you thought THAT?

I just had a nice hot bath. while listening to aerosmith at full volume and surrounded by the scent of strawberry and mint.

it was beautiful. it felt like........

where am I, you ask?
the one taking the picture probably( story of my life, sigh.)
alright alright.

just kidding. dont get any lawsuits on me. got that off the internet!

on that thought, please dont google image search 'hot bath' ever. unless youre a pervert.

back on track,
I shall now dub this theme of hot water bathing - last of the mohicans living of the dead deluded moonsault skywing style.

its a short meaningful name.
and its different from the normal hot steamy bath*.

*hot steamy bath

defined as a bath so hot, that if you stand up you shouldnt be able to see your toes, due to too much steam around**

**unless youre so fat you couldnt even before, you fat bastard.

as defined by the official luikal's classification of hot water baths***

***luikal's classification of hot water baths

grade 1 - mildly hot - temperature>30<38
grade 2 - blood hot - temperature of the blood(as taken from a normal human without fever)(extended to 40)
grade 3 - medial hot - temperature: 40-50
grade 4 - highly hot - 50-64.73
grade 5 - severely hot - >64.73
special grade - steamy hot

as given by the international society of hot water baths****

****international society of hot water baths

a society of like minded wise, elite people who fight for the good of the world, with the holy power of hot water baths.
this society is headed by his highness dhongi baba and consists of few elite fighters who have unimaginable hot water powers.
the society continues the ancient trend of bathing water enriched with the earth's natural form and energy handed down by god during genesis.
and it fights the dark menacing cold shower society.

more on the society later.

Im too tired from fighting a member from the cold shower society.

sigh.
maybe I should take a steamy hot bath.

diagnosis : PMS

2009-06-12T22:52:00.005+05:30

"Infectious diseases will last as long as humanity itself"

The Pseudo Maal Syndrome(attituditis)

"of the two PMSs, the worse one to have-Dick Cranius"

PMS may be defined as infection of the brain of a healthy young female with unhealthy thoughts and hallucinations about her own importance.
such afflicted persons have been termed at various times as the wannabe maals, the kim sharmas, she-who-must-not-be-named and many other synonyms, listing of which would be too exhaustive for this book.

Problem statement

WORLD

being an highly infectious disease, PMS is endemic in mot developing countries, with frequent outbursts of minor and major outbreaks.
the exact incidence amounts to, according to WHO about 10-27 women per 100 are affected annually.
also, like chickenpox almost all girls have been afflicted by it at least once before they reach 20.
again, also like chickenpox, the clinical features are more prominent and exaggerated in case of adult life.

INDIA

for practical purposes, India can be divided into areas of low, intermediate and high endimicity.
the exact incidence of PMS in india is not known. however, the Indian literature is replete with numerous reports of sporadic and epidemic occurrence of this disease in various cities, residential colonies and campuses.

Epidemiological determinants

Agent factors

(a)AGENT: the causative agent, named the attivirus from the attiviridae family of viruses.
(b)RESISTANCE: the virus is fairly resistant to heat and chemicals. even pepsi.
(c)RESERVOIR: the human cases are the only reservoir of infection.

Host factors

(a)AGE: attivirus infection is more common in young adults and adolescents.
(b)SEX: affects only females. although some male cases have also been reported.
(C)IMMUNITY: no effective immunological response has been observed.

Enviromental factors

cases may occur throughout the year. and can occur in any area.

Modes of transmission

(a)by contact with infected host/
(b)sometimes, even just by looking.

Clinical features

the clinical spectrum of PMS may vary from a mild illness to a severe form.

however the salient features of attivirus-infection may be summarized as:
1. sudden change in attire, leaning towards the skimpier version
2. sudden liking of expensive, tasteless as well as unaffordable goods.
3. staring down of any person that is looking at the patient, or even persons who are not.
4. sudden liking of shows like roadies, splitsvilla and other reality shows.
5. sudden hanging out with persons suffering from severe bitchitis.
6. a profile on a social networking site, suddenly sprouting pictures in random poses,and also of random stuff, like feet, cats and whatnots.

other related symptoms and signs may also be present.

Complications

in most cases it is a self-limiting disease.
however in immunocompromised and depressed patients it may have a fulminant course.

Diagnosis

is based on clinical findings.

Control

its OUTOFFRIGGINCONTROL dude.

Prevention

run. fast. as fast as your feet can take you.

for the medical people reading this, yes, it IS in fact made in the format of K.Park, nightmare of all.

hmm. long one. I know.
also, an announcement.

HIATUS SEMILUNARIS
starting today, this blog will be on a hiatus for a month.
its not writer's block. its something else.
other blogs shall not be read.and comments shall not be replied to.
for a month, that is.

will be back, on or before 15th july.

we shared a moment that will last till the end.

2009-06-04T21:52:00.004+05:30

things that pisses off the cow outside my hostel, while he's facebooking/orkutting/blogging

where did I see a cow, you ask?
are you sure youre in india, I ask.

but why does it have a facebook profile, orkut profile AND a blog, you ask?
this is manipal, yo!
he is an urban indian cow, dumbass.
he's classy and not rural.

he's christian.
and his name is bob.

he's bob the male cow.

how do I know that he's a guy-cow?
because he's in love with ganga the hyderabadi cow.

why is he a cow and yet a male?
genetic engineering.

err. yes.

so I had this conversation with bob over coffee at CCD(the one in front of the engineering college, central library doesnt allow cows inside, feh, racists.)
he likes frappe the most, if you want to know.

OOOPS.

wrong picture.

aah. yes. back to the topic.

bob tells me that he gets really pissed off with some orkut and facebook profiles that he's been seeing lately.

1. uncool studs who act like studs and put ER in front of their names.

what is WRONG with these people, bob says.at first I thought it was some really cool degree of something.that you get that title after doing lots of hard work, like Dr. or Prof. or Count.

then I go and ask one of them.and he says thats because he got into an engineering college.which is not even IIT.

meh. stupid humans.

dude! you dont even know the proper use for hair gel! its not for head hair*!! and youre already balding! please take out the title.

2. you know the sites that let you put up your picture in some imaginary billboard.

and you put that picture on your album, not one but 20+ of them in different poses!!! wtf!

seriously. Ive been a brand promoter for nandini milk, and your move is just uncool and unprofessional.

3. people who like to tYpE lIkE tHiS. aNd tHiNk tHaT iTs rEaLly cOoL.

err. should I even say anything?
I appreciate you for your hard work with the shift button. but. thats it.

4. he does not hate alpa chino. he loves alpa chino.
alpa chino is god.booty sweat and bust-a-nut forever!

5.he hates people who will just read this post, and not comment.
lazy ass lazyasses!

err. thats it.

more from my bob the cow later.
over our bi-weekly coffee get-together.(not that there's anything wrong with that statement)

*its for the tail.
what were you thinking?

how high can you fly with broken wings?

2009-05-29T17:27:00.000+05:30

the sun had set.
but it wasnt exactly night.

there were dark clouds around.
but it wasnt exactly raining.

exams were close.
but he didnt really feel like studying.

'how apt' he thought.

the world was still, as if waiting for something.
holding its breath. for the beginning of something.

'probably rain. the calm before the storm?'

he used to take lots of walks. long ago.
going out at night. during times, when the roads were least likely to be crowded.
for the exact thing that he hated, being alone.
his weekly ritual.
but that had stopped.
why?

'because, now Im always alone'

he used to have his own spot.
to sit. to think. to eat. to stare at the world.
but he didnt go there that day.

'too many sad emotions are linked to it'

he did what he used to do when he was a kid.
take the first right on every turn that he encountered.

he knew how to get back to his hostel again.
but he had no idea where he was.

'probably, I'll end up lost, or in a ditch'

he was at a high place.
probably.
the amount of wind, hinted at it.

he saw a light.
the familiar flame of a lighter.
and he went towards it.

'I need a smoke'

she was sitting on a rock.
bent over.
trying to protect the flame. unable to light that precious stick between her lips.

'feh. novice'

'here, allow me' he advanced.
she accepted his offer.

he lit it up.
gave it to her.

she tried to act cool, but ended up swallowing instead of breathing.
coughing vigorously.

'your first time?'
'ummm. yeah'

'dont'
'dont what?'
'smoke'

'why not? I can do bloody anything I want to' she got angry
'of course you can, its just not a good thing.its your choice of course'

'exactly, its always my choice. no matter what others say.'
'hmm yeah, you can do whatever you want. because its your responsibility' he said in a dreamy voice

something inside her snapped
she started speaking. and he never stopped her.
she didnt want to stop.
she didnt stop.

then, there was just silence.
she got a message, and she ran off.
'Im sorry. I have to go.'
'take care you'
'as should you'

it didnt rain that night.
but it poured the next day.

someone bumped into him that day. it was her.
but they didnt speak.
it wasnt unexpected though.
he had felt it the previous night.

'of course, thats how she is'

in class, he found a note in his labcoat.

'Im sorry, you know I cant. I wish i could though'

that evening, he saw her again.

'dont worry, I never expected it' he shouted
everyone heard it, but only she knew it was meant for her

she turned and smiled for a moment.

they smile, whenever they see each other.
from that day on.

sometimes, simple relationships, without expectations, are the best relationships.

eat, drink, and be hairy!

2009-05-27T07:39:00.004+05:30

so the gears of rumour are turning again.

bongs are obsessed with 3 things - food, movies and CRICKET.
oh, wait. there's also paan.

and how did the kolkata night riders fare this IPL?

"theyre as alive and kicking as this bug underneath my lakhani chappal, says a dada in all his bong glory. and lo, it IS alive and kicking(and screaming perhaps)"

bugs are resilient creatures, and so are bongs, says one ancient legend from the great huge book of bongs*

what may be the reasons for them to fail so miserably this time?

"that fake IPL bass-turd", echoes one young of the 3 young bongies in kurta and jeans

"oori da, ekdom bhalo point bolle, eita to main point hocche(o brother, good point, thats the main point)
that fake IPL guy took us down the drains.
disunity create kore!
deshdrohi shaala!"
agrees bongy 2

and why are you wearing kurta and jeans?
"this happen be besht clothing of india. ekdom INDIgenous" sniggers bongy3
"aamra total intellectual"

then why does it look like you havent changed in the last....erm...3 weeks?
kichu o bole dada, aami mere debo
(he's talking crap bro, I'll hit him)
shaala, you wear clean shirt pant, you firangi, learn to be baangaali
I telling you, that what is causing dishharmoony in knight riders
those shaala bangluulu people send firangi model to our camp along with fake IPL player

and our knight riders become NIGHT riders? I suggest

"exjactly! here, have a paan for that statement, says babu in the paan stall
10 taaka baba, meetha bangla paan! khoob bhaalo khoob bhaalo"

so, what are you going to do this weekend?
"we watch movie in home. golu's mom making good popcorn and paan."

which movie?
"RituPORNO ghosh-er movie.
oi director is khoob classy khoob classy!"

and what else does dada have to say for the general public of this blog?

steps up a philosopher paunchy dada:

"aaare dada, I tell you, jindagi taa khooob bhaalo khoob bhaalo
eat khoob roshogulla
drink lots beer
and have healthy food like paan.
whatsay?"

"khoob bhalo khoob bhalo!"
screams the whole crowd.

*if youre still wondering
I'll publish it as soon as I find a publisher ;)

DISCLAIMER: all bongs are actually sexy, and nice, and sexy, and smart, and sexy, and un-hairy, and sexy and bathe everyday!

if my life has a theme song, I want it to be the theme song of mortal kombat!

2009-05-25T20:55:00.003+05:30

I didnt go on a walk today.
I didnt go see the sunset.
its been ages since Ive done that anyway.

I had a practical exam today.
I didnt go to the library to cram it all up.
I slept through most of the morning today.
does it matter to anyone anyway?

I had a viva voce today.
I didnt answer any of the questions today.
I havent ever since, anyway.

when I was walking down the street today,
no hot girl came up to tell me how awesome I was.
that never happened after that anyway.

I shaved today.
and I looked proper.
but my shoelaces were untied.
and I didnt care to tie them up again anyway.

I didnt use up my balance today.
I didnt want to call.
its been a long time since my phone bill was that huge.
and it doesnt matter anymore anyway.

It was raining today.
but I didnt use an umbrella.
I wanted to feel it again.
the things that have stopped inside
still go on normally outside.

I woke up today.
and the world didnt seem to stop.
even though I have, since such a long time.

the Undeluded child : the concept of 'personality investment'

2009-05-20T13:17:00.001+05:30

some things in your life, are just.......

landmarks.

some of those things, ideas, persons or maybe even embarrassing behaviour, you kept getting reminded of, in every single thing you do.

others though,
you think it, you obsess over it for a week, a month
and then poof, it goes into your archives.
to just sit there. waiting.

and when a little action, a few words, maybe something you eat, triggers a chain reaction,
everything comes flooding into your mind.
fresh. like it just happened an hour ago.

something like that happened to me last night.

this was waaaay back when I was a kid.
I still wore shorts to school.
and hair was just beginning to grow at funny places.

something happened which had me really wishing I could run away from everything.

I dont remember what, but it was no way related to my favourite pillow being torn.
(good days! good days!)

aah. Like I was saying,I wanted to run away.
most kids just stop there.

but then, whats undeluded, if he doesnt take it one step further? nothing.

thats when I made a plan, one of the most memorable plans Ive ever made(oh, Ive made a few* if you want to know)

I had just recently shifted from mumbai to bhopal at that time.
so, if I was going to run anywhere, that was where it was going to be(the people there are awesome, and HOT GIRLS YAYAY!)(or delhi of course)

and how was I going to survive?

the idea came to me, in a flash
it was like the skies parted, and suddenly I saw bright light.

I was going to sell myself.

bah. you pervs.
not THAT way.

here, comes in the brilliance of undeluded.

the concept of it was:

people invest in companies. which they think can give them a profit.
so.......why cant people invest in ME, if they think I can get them some quick money.

people put money in banks, because they get an interest.
if I could give them a higher interest rate, and an assurance of trust, then......why not?

people make fixed deposits.
so if I can turn their money into a bit more than what the govt. of india does.......wouldnt they try it?

people trade in shares, and the rising stars are the most popular ones, the most profitable ones.
so. exactly. you couldnt find a better investment than undeluded.

thus, all I had to do
was turn on the undeluded charm on full thrust.
give them something concrete as a guarantee.
document it all to make the transaction completely legal.
and I have capital to make something big.

I call this, my 'personality investment concept'

please dont steal it without due credit and permission.

actually Im surprised, that a kid could come up with something brilliant, but then, thats what undeluded was. sparkly. brilliant.
yup.

and then, came the next step of the plan where I use that capital to.....

*hears snoring noise coming in from the screen.

alright alright I get it.

its a long post, and youre not interested.
no more.

feh.

white album

2009-05-15T18:53:00.001+05:30

once upon a time.

a deluded person, had an inspiration.
less of an inspiration, and more of insight, he debated.

it was about stars, chocolates and sunlight.
about tennis, labcoats and milk cartons.

he had an idea, which he thought would change the world
a wonderful idea
a gentle idea
an idea which touched his heart to the core, and shook it.

at that moment
with that thought in his mind
everything, seemed okay
the world wasnt bad
he wasnt lonely
chocolate milkshake couldnt beat strawberry(it still cant)

he was always, a laidback guy
(he always lay-ed in the back and slept)
but this idea,
made him see everything, in a different light
the world was seen in shades of purple, and it seemed great

it was as if his eyes were always closed
and he was groping for the truth
and that idea, had been the truth that he groped for
he groped the air around him
he caught it
he shouted out 'yay'

and then he opened his eyes.

the whole class was staring at him.

he got his attendance cut off for sleeping(and dreaming, and making weird gestures while sleeping) in class

oh, well
life's like that.
at least he still had the idea

wait.

what was the idea again?
damn.
he forgot.

thats why one wise man once said, when you wake up, effing write it down!

of tetrapak and hot girls who are interested in me

2009-05-10T17:59:00.002+05:30

the deluded view on various topics - chapter 21 section 75

tetrapak

yup.

youre walking, you havent had anything to eat since morning and then, suddenly, you see.

a goddess.

juice.

200 ml of fruity goodness.

with a straw.

and when youre almost done.
you suck.(thats what she said ;) )

you try to take in that last 30 ml of juice.
effing straw.
you tilt the pack, put the straw to its ideal position. squeeze. suck.
but, there's still some left.
effing straw.

you shake the pack, you feel it, the tempting juice.

you want it.

200 ml of fruity goodness that you'll never completely have.

but it will, never, give itself up.
(the juice probably thinks something like- you can have my body, but not my heart, huh?)

and you give up.
and your day shall be bad.

thats why I like appy.
at least they have the sense of putting a peel away on top. so you can have that last bit too.

more to the point, look what frooti has as a publicity poster.

pretttyy suggestive.(thats what he said)

NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT.

is there?
*looks innocently

ahem.

now to the second part of the post.

I know what youre thinking.

what about the hot girls who are interested in me, you ask?

where are the hot girls who are interested in me, you ask?

exactly.

if you find them, please redirect here.

thanks.

when it all comes tumbling down

2009-05-05T23:09:00.001+05:30

take a step forward
and dont ever look back.

was what you had decided, wasnt it?

its just a gash.
this scar will heal, you thought.
it isnt so bad, It can be lived with.

was what you reasoned to yourself, wasnt it?

everything, is in the end, temporary.
I'll change myself.
and then everything will be fine.

was what you planned, wasnt it?

that night, with a heavy heart
and eyes so wet
you slept

so you could dream of a better ending, right?

people are logical.
people are just.
the world can be fair, you just need to trust

was what you hoped for, didnt you?

life, is supposed to be a straight line
so that you can go forwards, with each step

but, now youre in a circle
that you keep coming back to

and you wonder.
why.

is it even worth it?
Im righteous, but why is the world still so cruel?
it isnt fair, was it ever just?
I cannot forget, those feelings are too deep

is what you think now.

and I.
I cant give you any hope.

the questions you ask.
the thoughts you think.

I cant hope to ever answer them, no one can.

the pain you carry. shall always pierce.
but, the paths you took, are worth remembering
the parts you carved, are worth keeping
even if there is a price.

maybe one day, you'll find another shoulder
to help carry your burden
because you carry the greatest weight of all
but you cannot share it

youre made that way, right?
to carry, without flinching
the turmoil stays within
the empty smile you give
is mistaken for being shallow
but they look at your lips

and not your eyes, do they?

but, remember.

all things, that give, dont always have to recieve
the wind that touches your face
shall always be there
never leaving
always giving.

and the only true feelings that I can pass on to you
is one of belief.
the burden, you can carry,
and only you can carry it

you'll shed these tears again.
so that no one else has to.

you'll do it.

because,
youve never been pure.
but youve always been good.

and as I see you

walking on that thorny road.
with nothing for company but the wind.

you look at me
and smile
a smile you learned to smile, through your tears
a smile of companionship, of love, of laughter and of pain
a smile of the world

and I stare into those eyes
that best shade of brown

you pierce me
and I see you
like you should be seen
the greatest, you have always been

and I smile back

for I shall never forget.
these unchanged feelings you shared.
these unsaid words I felt.

filler: the reason to be be be....scared

2009-05-04T16:17:00.002+05:30

yes, my friends.

I have just escaped an international calamity.

my bus was about to be blown up, but deluded, becomes the hero and saves the day!

let me explain.

yours truly, was riding the bus. going back to his room after a long journey.
just being normal.
sleeping in the bus.
and then HE came in.

the local don.
how I do I know that he's a don?

simple.

fully clothed in white? check
4 wives and 10 children in tow? check
white turban? check
golden chain around neck? check
golden glasses? WTF! check!
golden rolex? check!
big huge pack in his hands which he guards with his life? check!

uptil now, he could just be an innocent foreigner from saudi arabia(you oil-runs-in-your-veins you!)
but then, on closer inspection. the rolex is a fake.

so?
so.

if you can afford a family of 20, god everything, but not a real rolex watch, youre a localite.
hence he can only be a local kannada don. or a suicide bomber.

at this point, I dared to take a picture.

someone call the bomb squad!!!

hence he turns and punches. and then since he has been exposed, goes out, disgusted.

deluded takes 95 points of damage and saves the day!
one hit, taken for the public! yay me!

just, someone do something about this swelling on my face.

in other news.

I went on a guy's shopping spree.
whats that mean?
food. food. drinks. and a four letter word that all guys buy but dont tell any girls about.
what did you think a guy's shopping is like?
clothes? get a life.
it took a total of 5 mins that.

also

I have a cold.
which led me to ponder.

what a girl thinks if she catches a cold: damn. I have a cold! now my nose will be all red and runny! and my makeup! oh god! what will happen when he sees me! ho god! just kill me now! f*cking cold!

what a guy thinks if he catches a cold: damn. I have a cold! now I wont be able to smell what I eat! or a hot girl's perfume! dayum. oh. wait. if I fart I dont smell it. if I dont take a bath, doesnt matter! this fucking rocks dude!

okay. okay. its what we THINK. not DO.
who would be crazy enough to DO that?

not me.
I wouldnt DO that.
nor any guy!
but its always good to have an option!
even if you dont DO it.

anyway. since you always complain I never say anything about myself in post.
the next 3 posts will be an insight into the deluded mind. IF you want it to be, that is.

P.S. see the emphasis on the word - DO?

hot girls of blogger,

please do me.

Uncensored

2009-04-29T00:43:00.000+05:30

something I'd written a while ago...

have you ever wondered.......what love is like?

its like the smell of the earth after the first rain.
fresh. refreshing. something that you have never felt before.
something that comes only once. something you'll never experience
again. something you can recall whenever you want.

its like the fresh breeze that you feel against your face in the night.
it takes away your sleep. it runs its hands through your hair. it
messes up what youre wearing. but you never want it to stop.

its like the feel of your blanket on a cold morning.
its warm. its soft. you need it, and you feel that it needs you as
well. you never want to get out of it.

its like that last few licks from a jar of nutella.
its sweet. its like heaven. you know you will never get bored of it.
and you wish you had more. much more.

its like that milkshake you love so much.
when you're the milk then it's the flavour, it makes anything much
more wonderful.
when you're the flavour then its the milk, it gives you sustance, and
you feel youre a part of something so much bigger.

I couldnt give enough words to this feeling that I get around you.
when I try, I understand what drowning in a sea of words means. its
everywhere around you, but you can hardly get any words out of your
mouth

hey there delilah
have you ever felt.....................scared?

that its too risky to take that step?

that it might not last?

that this might just be like everything else that you've gone through?

that this might not be worth that much?

that I'll go away?

dont be scared delilah.

it might be risky, but Im a good investment.

it will last. we'll make it last.

things have changed after these few days. I have changed. you have
changed. the world is different, when we're together.

its worth it. lets take this step together.

I'll never go away. I'll always be right here, waiting for you. no
matter what. I promise.

so delilah,

take your time.

and I'll wait.
because you made me a plus-minus person from the zero base person I was.
because you gave me light in this world of dark.
because its worth it.

and mostly because

I love you.

this isnt a blogging site, its a social networking site, you idiot!

2009-04-25T21:13:00.002+05:30

nothing big today.

just some thoughts and some questions.

was talking to friend A, from blogspot

who then told me about how blogger B and blogger C had a fight, and how blogger D got it together for them.

then talked to friend X, who gossipped about blogger Z and blogger W making out.

and blogger H trying to kill himself.

and there was just one thing going through my mind.

WTF!

did I miss something there?

some dandy revolution of sort?

not since 8th class, where I overlooked the green revolution by mistake(Im sorry Dogra maam!) have I ever missed a single revolution. I even followed the chaddi revolution!

I only know 5 ppl from blogger, who I talk to and who know my name

and here I find out that every person who's blog page Ive ever read, know each other.

and mayhaps, half of them might have slept with each other.

Introducing, the latest and hippest social site since facebook and orkut

*the biggest thing since water polo - New dork times(a most famous newsletter)

*this sensational hit will change the world around us - Gossip girl monthly pro(leading magazine of its kind)

*since the first time I opened my page, I was hooked - gill bates(richest man on birth)

*can I put it on my site first? yes, I can. - Garrack Sobama(president of united states of bum-erica)

blogger dot com. just DO IT!

aah. yes.

now to the questions part.

how come everyone of you know each other?

and why why why am I not in this 'hip' contact list of yours?

am I that that not worth knowing?

and do you have glasses on you net freak junkie you?

alright. just kidding.
the last statement was purely a joke
*winks

hot girls of blogger, please touch me

whisky, vodka and (hic) milk!

2009-04-20T13:35:00.000+05:30

drunk people have their own reasons.
random thoughts heard from random people.

Im not drinking
that golden colour, cant you see! its honey, honey! honey and water.

when you look at it, its only 30 percent alcohol
so, those werent 3 shots......that was just one shot, and the rest was water

Im not high yo!
I just have this tendency to randomly hug other girls wearing red.

vodka isnt a drink, its water.
to wipe your ass with.

Im being responsible.
Im drinking it all so that there wont be any left for you guys, then you can go lead full 'fruity' lives. Im sacrificing for you guys man!

why do I drink?
do you ask a rose why it has thorns?(girlA answers)
do you ask a person why they fart? its personal man. per-son-al (guyA)
do you ask kids why they eat ice cream?(guyB)
do you ask mariah carey why she has big b**bs? (guyC)
do you ask doubts in class????(girlB)

when you piss, its the same colour right?
Im just replenishing what Ive lost

no no man. this is how we were born. and this is how I shall live. never forget your heritage man, never (guy while taking off his shirt)

this is how the matrix guy dodged bullets man. BULLETS!(stagerring drunk)

and my personal favourite.

you idiots!
its not on backwards!
my pants are the latest thing for people suffering from diarrhoea
you know, you just open the zipper and then drop the bombs.
see! thats so logical. so less troublesome.

The Encounter Specialist

2009-04-17T12:39:00.001+05:30

another train journey.
another story to tell.

Navy jerk Vs Dark Wader

almost missed the train.
this is going to be one sucky train ride.
lower birth in a kuntry-looking sleeper class bogey.
no laptop. no charge in phone. nothhing to read. not even an upper birth to sleep the whole thing in.
nothing but a deo in my bag(comes handy when you pass a gutter-river thingie on train, which ARE so common nowadays) to console me

It might not be so bad.
I can look at blackwaters of kerala and shit. oh, I meant backwaters, backwaters.
thought I, as I dozed off to oblivion.

shut the hell up, was my first thought as I was woken up by this huge baritone.
my god, do they still make people who talk this loud? wasnt that back in the 80's?

I got a glimpse of him.
shouting off for half an hour to his dad on the phone.
every 3rd word being interspersed with 'rear-admiral'(haha, REAR admiral)
and this huge effing card with indian navy personnel written on it.
trying every bit to raise his voice and flash that card. and act cool.

Interesting.
I recognised the signs.
he must be barely out of school.
attention seeking to the extreme.

the fish you dont seek, shall always be the one thats in the area around your boat.
but, its fish, nonetheless.
english speaking fish too.

hi there. he started it, as I expected.
hello.
Im Amit ******, blah blah blah(life history).
Im Deluded, no details yet.
nice to meet you.
aaah. so.......youre in the navy huh?(bait)
yeah. I just got recruited in it. 18 and now life's set huh?(in a conspiratory tone)
hmm. yeah.

he talks to me as if Im an equal, not recognising that I could well be much more than that.
thought a much ignored part of me, waking up. someone, who I like to call, dark wader(sooooo subtle, feh.)

hmmmm. it doesnt help that I DO look younger. bah.

as expected, he started to boast.

his, wasnt a college, it was an "academy" , a "commandant"

with that, it started on the usual course of conversation between 2 college guys.

Ragging.

oh, you guys know nothing. yours is just so simple and uncomplicated. OUR seniors beat the crap out of us
(proud your voice be. yes, our seniors are so disrespectful. they prefer not to hit. oh DAMN!)
they started us off by slapping us each hard a hundred times.
they even used hockey sticks.
they broke my leg, but I couldnt complain or go to a medic. that would be a bad thing to do.(he said that happily)
haha. I was lucky though.
at least my back's still in one piece, my poor poor roommate, he cant even walk straight now.

aaah. I see.

Boasting about the selection process.

oh, you guys can get into any college easily(he assumed, of course that I was one low low standard guy). but its hard to get into the academy.
we have to get 70 percent in boards to qualify for it.
70 percent! unbelievable na?
its even harder than my brother, who's taking his 3rd drop for medical entrances.

umm. yeah. pretty unbelievable.

Girls.

ah, it must be pretty hard on you, since there are no girls in the 'academy' huh? I ventured
oh. you guys make me sick. who needs girls? I can get any chick I want off the face of this planet(boast some more, you)
but, We're happy.
we get every physical stuff anyway, he winked

talk about extreme. I had HEARD about the rumours of homosexuality, but this.

he talked for hours.

and I realised.

he was like clay. easily molded. with utmost faith in whoever was molding him.
he'll be a good soldier, I admitted.

but, dark wader reigns.
I dreamt again. of dreams about power over others. ambitions.

I could see that shine in his eyes. If i was in that commandant, controlling him would be so easy.

people are easily influenced.
DW would make a good leader.

it was time to get off now.

wait, which course are you in?
3rd yr. MBBS.

dilatation of the pupils observed.
smirking of the face done.

and then, slept again, a part of me.

while the whiter side took an auto back to college.
thinking about how good it would feel, saving lives and helping people.

tomorrow

2009-03-30T22:51:00.002+05:30

what......
what is this.

what is this feeling.

where am I?

oh, its still night
the sun hasnt come out yet.

but, where am I?

I feel grass.
and pebbles.
pricking my back and my neck and my head.

I can see shattered glass, next to me.

I can see open sky above me.
but why are there no stars?
why is there no moon?

its just dark. a black sea. upside down.
is that really the sky?

my head is throbbing.
its painful. like nothing else that Ive ever felt.
haemorrage?

my chest is wet. its drenched.
thick liquid.
am I leaking blood?

I cant feel my left arm. or my legs.

shit.
I cant move.
I cant get up.

what happened to me?

I can hardly breathe.
my chest heaves with each breath.
its painful.
its troublesome.

cant I just stop breathing?
Mmm.
that would be nice.
and it doesnt seem far off, I suppose. its only a matter of time now.

is this how death is like?

there's no dignity in it.
lying in the dirt like this.
death isnt the release of pain, its much more painful than any pain in life!
its sickening.
this waiting. before I finally end. this stupid waiting.

wait.

I dont want to die.
not yet.

am I fated to die like this?
with everything incomplete?
still a virgin?
still in college?

I want to live.
a bit more.

feh.
Im about to die.
and youre still on my mind.
even now.
get out.

wont you let me die peacefully?

noooooo!

maybe there's still hope.

maybe I can still survive.

if I shout.
If I scream.

someone.

save me.

someonee

Im about to die!

I can hear someone. coming.
its my roommate.

thank goodness.

"dude. youre totally wasted. you drank like shit dude. whatever. hangover or no hangover. get the f*ck up!"

phew.

all is well, it seems.

guest post : cheesy woman

2009-03-17T12:44:00.003+05:30

do I need to say it?

this is a sentimental post from someone to their someone special

ANYONE WHO READS THIS AND DOES NOT COMMENT IS NOT STRAIGHT. SIMPLE.

or is darth vader.

back to the post.......

I didn't want to fall in love. Not after so many failed attempts.
I didn't want to open up to you. Not after having my heart broken so many times.
You know I'm scared to love, to feel, to let go of the plastic bubble that I've been living in.

Okay is this becoming one of those cheesy posts I swore I'd never write? I think it is. But what the hell. I'm learning to like cheesy, it makes me smile. I'm learning to love sweet nicknames, they make me giggle. I'm learning how to give kisses on the phone while dreaming about our first kiss. I'm learning that saying 'I love you' is not lame or needy. Romantic songs make me cry now, it's that bad!

You've opened me up to a range of emotions whose very existence I vehemently denied. And for that, I thank you.

I know you may not wait. I know we may not be. But for this, for making me whole... I love you.

ahem.

yes. that was really beautiful.

CW I hope you both work out.

if love is anything, then you must be swimming in it for him. he is truly a lucky guy.

best of luck. for your future together.

when you look at a cow, dont stare at its behind! thats RUDE!!

2009-03-09T14:21:00.004+05:30

ahem.

first things first.

happy birthday to me. (now please wish me. Im already lacking in Bday wishes)(stupid too drunk to remember friends)

ahem ahem.

oh, yes.

and there's a party.

I always wanted this special day to come.

my own sweet sixteen party.
chocolates, cakes and grand food.
all my friends at one place.
and youre invited.
my mom always says that sixteen is a great age to be at. now I get to find out! yay!

woohoo

sweet sixteen!!!

oh.

wait.

Im 21.

nevermind.

cancel that invitation.

now that I know that I cant have a sweet sixteen party.....

I think I'll go cry in the corner.

hehe.

alright. back to the much more pressing issue.

new previously unknown hot girl discovered.

Marie Digby.

the girl who made me realise that all mexicans dont wear hats, are not short and unsexy and smelly, and fart really pretty looking pink farts

oh.

she's not mexican?

oh. oh.

nevermind.

she's hot and she sings well, so F**k you!

oh oh.

whats a Bday post without a dedication huh?

I would like to decimate this post to all the great people in my life(alessandra ambrosio, deepika padukone, katrina kaif, michelle branch and delilah(hey there delilah!))

and to sprite.

and milkshakes.

yosh.
that was so lame.

its time to get drink like Ive never drunk before.
milkshakes.

and then sleep.

Love and shite, shite is greek word for love, I suggest you to not read this

2009-03-06T23:31:00.004+05:30

hehe.

guest post, by one of the MOST wonderful girls that I know,

who I call - My sweet honey (teehee, forgive me oh great one, I HAD to say that :P)

Once upon a time there was a guy in Sandland called, er, Owl. He had eyes as black as black grapes and a very sexy way of making you laugh. He was charming, in all the wrong proportions, but still charming. We were better off as friends and things were picture-perfect-partners-in-crime-ish until he decided to ask me out and ruin it. No, really. What we had was good but it was sooo complicated. Also, there were other reasons.

1) He lives some 100000 km away for most of the year save the summer.
2) I did NOT want to be his "summer fling".
3) He was a friend's ex.
4) ^That was no big problem as my friend and I were never I and my friend, if you know what I mean.
5) I still thought relationships were fucking overrated.

So I call it off, er, not very gracefully (& mourn about it into pillows and bathroom walls for what seems like an eternity). It really annoyed me that he wasn't half as pissed off as he should have been. When he went back he wrote to me saying we should stay in touch n stuff and I chose to ignore his mail. Nice move huh? :| (Totally, what bs i say :| ) He never mailed again and I convinced myself that blech, he was not my perfect guy anyway.

Side note: Ok, my perfect guy?
Should be a forum-trolling, nicotine-fixated, balding, dour,
indifferent, guileless hack-writer who has read Vonnegut and Camus,
can spell T-R-U-F-F-A-U-T and know that 400 Blows.avi isn't an
instructional video, possesses 7 GB+ porn on his hard drive, listens
only to sociopol rock and trims his armpit hair on birthdays 4 meeee. <3

=]]

Ahem, anyway, back to the Great Indian Sob Story. It was all okay-ish until I learnt that he is coming back this summer. Don't tell me I shouldn't "give a fuck about it since I ended it" like the others. Urgh. I know the amount of human emotion I’m capable of will shock you, but I have huge guilt-trips. I'm like the other guilt queen. And it's going to be awkward and awkward doesn't go down very well with me, just like, raw vegetables or sushi. Graaaaaaah.

End rant.

Soulful apologies for utter torturement.

Sigh.

Love,

ze sweet honey (:P teehee!)

guesto posto

2009-02-26T09:04:00.004+05:30

alright. today, is a very special day.
thats because I have a famous well known writer posting on my blog today(suck on that! popularity meter o' mine)
in fact, she's soo good that, she's next in line for the booker award.

dont know what that is? google it. (sigh. the age group of my readers.)

you can find her blog link, here

of course, I asked her to post, waaay before she wrote her 1st book, hence, the title.

Reasons for the Guest Post taking a decade

-a gust of wind blew my first 7 drafts away. Umm, strong wind?

-I suffered from some serious memory loss, but its getting better now.

-it was something to look forward to for the first 9 years, so I kind of kept it hanging

-inspiration ran away  fast

-exams crept up on me

-holidays begged me to sleep more

-life happened… not that this is Not life.. because it So is. Really.

Yes, okay now. I’m nearly dead with exhaustion having pieced together this masterpiece. It shall be appreciated if you write me that cheque and send over those 40 slaves you promised. And fast please, I need about four or five to carry the ink pot and other writing appliances.

*taps foot*

Okay, I am officially waiting so any more delay Will be frowned upon.

Ps- Inspiration is still out on the loose somewhere… (This is my excuse and I’m sticking to it)

okay.

that was great!

see! finally a post without pics of hot girls.(do I seem more learned now?)

oh yes.

I almost forgot giving links. huh. silly me.

to go to this famous writer's page go here

to go to a hot girl's blog go here

to go see the recipe of strawberry tequila vodka cheesecake go here

to see my attempt at a lame guest post on an extremely cool blog, go here

and finally,

for pictures of hot girls in skimpy swimsuits, go here

haha. I got you there. you perv.

you and me, Lets take it to the next level

2009-02-21T11:06:00.006+05:30

aye, yea

yes my friends.

I have become something great.

however, Im fighting a losing battle.

let me tell you, about how Ive discovered this inner potential inside of me............its like a whole new awareness within myself

Im fighting a losing battle against this guy.....

he is strong.

aaah. he got me good there. ouch.

every night, I fight a battle against my inner consciousness.

No. Its not about the love life, studies or anything that trivial

its not even the post murder guilts you get after you kill someone.
oops. perhaps I have said too much.
come police, try and catch me. you will never catch me alive.

unless of course you send your special elite squad - the super alpha sexy babe squadron
then I shall surrender.

anyway

the thing is, everynight, I dutifully set an alarm for the next day, and go to sleep
thinking that I'll get up tomorrow, attend class and be happy

status next day : wakes up at 10 30, sees alarm has been disabled, and misses half the college time

status next night: sets 3 alarms.

status next next day: wakes up at 11, sees all 3 alarms disabled, misses half of college

status next next night: sleeps at 9, thinking that sleeping early = waking up early, sets 6 alarms, asks 3 ppl to call and wake him up

status next next next day: wakes up at 11 30, all 6 alarms disabled, mobile on silent mode.

see what he is?
he's a monster.
he just keeps getting better and better while facing difficult situations.

damn you inner ninja. damn you.

on second thoughts, it might not be so bad.

I might get this.

and this.

Im coming sensei! banzai! banzai!

Hot Indian girl, blogs about it.

2009-02-12T21:05:00.004+05:30

yes.

yeeessssss.

yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

*makes a victory signal.

you guys wont believe it.

finally, a guest post. and that too, from a 'hot indian girl'

okay, you guys, she wants to be kept anonymous, because she's SO effing hot, that if I give her link here, she'll be stalked by tons of guys, and she wont have any peace.

anyways, this is a very senti post. and I want you all to comment, because well, she deserves it.

consequently,

ANYONE WHO READS THIS POST AND DOESNT COMMENT, IS NOT STRAIGHT. I have spoken.

aye. straight to the post.

Sometimes..

Sometimes..life's strange
Sometimes..its better not to show that you care
Sometimes..silence IS golden
Sometimes..you realize that you've realized something far too late and then you can do nothing abt it
Sometimes..you realize that you are in love with your best friend only after he gives you the news that he's getting married
Sometimes..you have to hide your feelings,the pain,the agony,the anguish seeing your best friend with some one else only because all you want is him to be happy
Sometimes..you cant confess your feelings because he is 27 and you are just 20!
Sometimes..its better not to say anything,put up a smile and watch someone else walk away with your most prized possesion
Sometimes..you feel so helpless that it kills you inside..slowly,deeply,incurably.
Sometimes..you can see something or someone just slipping away from your hand but all you can do abt it is stare at it helplessly
Sometimes..you reach a stage in life when you think you've done your share of hard work,you've been the most intelligent and sought after one for the time enough,then you adopt a laid back attitute in life though still not wanting to give away your prestitious position of being a perfectionist,to some one else..and then you feel like a loser..sometimes..most of the times..

Sometimes you think all that matters is love but still you cant find one
Sometimes ..you struggle hard to fight back your tears but all you end up with is more of them
Sometimes..you try hard to put all your thoughts,frustration,sadness,fears,contemplation in a poem but what you come up with is just another cliche',hard to comprehend rambling which does not frustrate you further because you are already too frustrated to give a damn
Sometimes..you pour out everything on a publically accesible forum still hoping that your 27 year old friend never finds out abt it
Sometimes..you really ,badly, want things to be like they used to be..almost perfect
Sometimes..life can be so harsh
Sometimes..you are given no choices, only lectures abt being strong and "deal" with it

Federer - God,its killing me..
I - Me too..

hold your chin high and trim your nose hair

2009-02-07T20:55:00.005+05:30

a cute nose can make anyone look heavenly, no?

and an ugly nose can make the prettiest person look like a pig.

(p.s. is that pig sticking his tongue out?)(ha! suck on this Mr. farmerman!)

now check the nose of this hottie.

no you didnt.

the NOSE, the NOSE. go back and look at the pic again, you pervert.

ah, yes. back to the topic.

you know your life aint going good, when youre still inside on a saturday night.

why am I not outside, you ask?

slip disc.

and Im single.

alright, slip disc doesnt count. happy?

when youre single, life opens up a lot of avenues. and you can do almost everything in the world. you can become rich. you can be famous. you can get a girl. you can be the president.

or you can just be lazy... sigh. life can be sad.

alright, a treat for all you readers.

deepika padukone - a very hot indian girl

you just came here because you googled up 'hot indian girl' didnt you?

why are you reading this?

go get drunk. or better, get a girlfriend you sick sick person.

this time is never gonna stop

2009-02-01T15:54:00.002+05:30

aaaah, 6th sem.

lectures are very interesting.

we have so many subjects this year.......

like ENT(I finally learned the correct way to pick my nose)
optho(was sitting at the back, due to poor eyesight, couldnt see what was happening)
some other subjects(I still dont know what classes I was in)

still, its fun.
clinics are fun too.
we take cases. and we present them.

who would have imagined it was this simple? ;)

I really really need to start learning kannada though, right now I only know one word - 'illa'. I used to think it meant 'no'. so I didnt use it too much. but Ive started using it in every sentence because Now i realise that it actually means 'say my name, bitch' in kannada.

Im cool, just like that.

ahem.

new headphones! from intex.
they look like a helmet.

all I have to do now is wear army pants and a white undershirt, a gold chain and then I will TOTALLY have the 'gansta' look

Im cool, yo!

however. Im SERIOUSLY going to start studying from today onwards.

my friend has bought some hip books from some hip stationary. He got the whole series too! all 7 books

theyre called happy rotter.

I am SO gonna read those.

*and hence, his academic career was ruined

PWNED

2009-01-25T16:19:00.002+05:30

THATS IT.

Ive had enough.

Goddamn master!

You write on my back, you change my looks by-and-how-you-want-it.

just when you actually write something good and I feel like showing it off as a kind of body art, you slip in something embarrassing.

your use of language and editing skills are pathetic. but I keep on hopin, like a faithful blog, that you'll be something good eventually.

Im supposed to be your best friend, ne? but you dont open up enough..........why so secretive?

you PROMISED me, that you'll take good care of me. THATS why I joined in as your blog.

now, you come and go as you please.

somehow, when I want rest and privacy, there are people reading out of my back every second

and when I feel like being publicised, you dont post anything at all.

and now, just because youre in emotional turmoil, you go on completely ignoring me.

plus, you recruited another blog, but youre just ignoring him too, ne?

youre being unfair, and I feel like some orphaned child.

anyway. the thing is.
now I need a break.

Im going to maldives, with me girlfriend.

when I come back, we need to have a serious discussion.

oh, and this is just as a revenge for all the ignoring Ive been facing,

hey everybody(if there's still anybody reading this)

master likes reading romantic novels.

HA!

Suck on that!

you have been pawned.

shake yer bong bong

2009-01-10T22:30:00.002+05:30

So.....

you've just crashed a party (because after all, free food!)
and you discover that its actually a bong party

its filled with babus, auntys and younger bongs who desperately need a haircut and a new wardrobe.

and you'd like to get out, but bong food is bong food(plus, my funda: free food always tastes better)

one thing you'll notice, is that there is NO greater food fest than a bong party(punjabis come 2nd) EVERY non veg item that you ever imagined, some veg crap, some roti crap, and yes FREE BOOZE. also a paan stall (meetha paan please!) at the end. and if its winter, the famous coffee stall with the guy holding a jug into which elephant fart is blown into to make it frothy.

so.....now youre inside, and you want to eat every single meat/fish dish you've seen(f*ck the veg crap and the rice crap and the roti crap) and get drunk.

and perhaps then go to the disco section where you get to dance with hot young thangs, and fat fat balding uncles shaking their booty for all its worth.

there's just one problem.

language!

what'll you do when someone asks you anything in bong?

fear not my friends, I, the bong-meister shall give you tips.

no matter what they ask, you can get away with a universal answer.

Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.

notice, its 'khoob bhalo' twice.

you HAVE TO have to say it twice, or the whole phrase becomes meaningless.

Q: tomar naam ki? (whats your name?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.

Q: time ki?(whats the time?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.

Q: maach ta kemni?(hows the fish?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.

Q: tumi bangaali?
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.

Q: tumi oke jano? o kemni aache?(do you know him? hows he?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.

as you can see, it works on any question.

but JUST in case you screw up some part, or you dont look bongish(youre a chinese, n african, a dwarf, or a little purple animal) then do the following things.

A. shout 'DADA' and run towards any unsuspecting male victim
B. Keep a paan ready, and chew on it as soon as a question is asked, after enough masticulation the person will probably give up and go away
C. shout 'OORI BABA' and run towards the nearest exit or bathroom.

there you go. thats the ABC.

results will vary according to the intelligence and drunkenness of the bongs as well as yours.

go on.
have some fun.

and free booze.

why dont you go f*ck yourself !

2008-12-31T12:18:00.002+05:30

no.

I dont mean you.

thats my message to 2008

this was almost the worst ending for the worst ever year Ive had.

that includes the mafioso being after me and my friend because we peed on their boss's favorite potted plant(couldnt help it! too much water in our system) and the aliens invading the earth and the indian politics.
they didnt?

whats ramadoss then??

yup. Im getting old.

oh, and Im getting you zero cakes, new year, the big 'o' treatment for you.

anyway,

I, at least, should try and confuse myself.

did that make sense? no? youre confused.

back to the post,

"he was really, just a normal guy. He hadnt ever done anything out of the ordinary. not yet. not ever, he thought. but then, that didnt matter. all he wanted was to get into college, and he had managed that, although barely. Now all he wanted was to get a low paying job, get a wife,kids and then perhaps when he would turn 45, middle-age crisis or some shit like that. because isnt that normal?

20 years he had spent. not doing what he wanted, but doing what was normal. fitting in, as his mother said. but then again, he argued with himself, all that he ever wanted was to be normal. and that much, he had achieved with a huge success.

but then, isnt it normal to have some aim in life? something to think about? something to live for? something to work your ass off? said an inner voice deep inside him. he had seen the kind. some were in love. some were into sports. some into studies. some were just passionate about anything really. passion. thats what youre missing. he thought. yet, he had never been fired up about anything. but he thought he WAS special. once, he had seen some object, something bright, which no one else could see.

then, one day. he saw that 'thing' again. he saw it on the roof of the library. but as soon as he ran up, there was nothing.2 days he spent, trying to search it out. you look strange, said his roommate. a week went by, and he was still searching. you seem engrossed in something else, said his best friend. 2 weeks. youre strangely happy, said the strange girl who sat with him in class.

but everything else, almost didnt even register in his mind. they didnt even matter. he was fascinated. by that brightness. nothing else was brighter. not even the sun. and only he could see it. somehow only he had seen it. nobody else would even understand, what he was going through. he was alone in this. but, he wasnt lonely. this feeling was different. from everything he had felt before.

one day, he finally spotted it. it glided along a deserted road. he had been here before, he realised. but everything seemed so different in that strange strange light. everything was no longer mediocre. each tree, each house, each bug, each spot on the road........they were all mysterious. and beautiful. his head was swarming with questions. things he had never thought before. which house was that? what shape was that flower? why do they call it end point? lots. lots. lots.

but the most fascinating thing, was floating away. he ran at top speed. but he could never really catch up. then suddenly, it stopped. he screamed, jumped up, lunged at it. he finally had it in his hands. this moment, is the most wonderful in my life. he thought. and then, as suddenly as it had appeared, it vanished. he felt wind on his face. realised he was falling. but it didnt really register. all he felt was sadness. for losing the thing. for losing that special part that he had discovered inside himself. it was great while it lasted. was his last thought.

they found him 3 days later. his glassy eyes were open. his lips curled in a half smile. he seemed sad. he seemed happy. he seemed amused. all at once.

even though he fell 20 feet. there were no external injuries, they reported. they couldnt figure out why he died. it was as if, he suddenly decided he had had enough, given up and died."

but then, isnt that how chasing a dream is like?

My mystery girl

2008-12-20T13:49:00.005+05:30

mangalore to chennai......9 pm to 3 pm
it was going to be one HUGELY boring train journey, I thought. Lucky I brought insurance heh?
mobile-check
mobile with a kickass memory card-check
kickass songs in the memory card-check
laptop-check
laptop with kickass movies I havent seen-check
charge point for the low battery its showing -check

wait.
somethings wrong.......

its occupied by someone else's charger

some bloody-old-fart-who-doesnt-even-know-what-a..........wait.....NOT

hot girl-CHECK!!!!
hot girl sitting next to me-check!

woohooo!

she turned, looked up at me, said, 'oh, hi' and reached out.
we shook hands.
I took a good look at her as she sat on the brown seat
chocolate brown-she insisted
shitty brown,perhaps?-I ventured
how about shitty chocolate brown-she said

cheesy. I know*. but somehow I found it funny. laughed. hadnt laughed since god-knows-a-week. felt good. this is going to be sweeeeeeeet.thought I

we started talking.
9 pm, 10 pm, 11pm, 12.......3 am

suddenly realised I hadnt had dinner. neither did she.
6 packs of chips, 2 bottles of pepsi, 1 movie and 2 hours later, she suddenly

said - we're the same frequency, you know?' Agreed.

she sang, I air guitared....to......you know......my favourite song.....which

INCIDENTALLY turned out to be hers too. same frequency. def. def. def.

we even did whats customary......
sat at the footboard of the compartment, legs swinging
watching the sun rise from a moving train.
ever did that? its awesome.

yup.
we shared stuff. lots. lots lots.
dreams, hopes, futures, food, the same blanket, everything.

I even promised her I'll blog about her.

the frequency part? I think I understood now what she meant.

oh. damn.
chennai's already here.
DAMN YOU indian railways! cant you be late by a day or 2 when I need it?

i thought about saying PK's line- see you when I see you
it was apt

but then......nah........thatd be too cheesy. too not me.

we parted at the last possible moment.
I winked.
she winked back.
she blew a kiss.
I winked again.

and turned.
clenched my fist. I shouldnt shouldnt turn back. I must NOT turn back.

the most mysterious thing about it was....

we never shared any private info not even our names

she was probably like me, I think.
shed too many tears that shouldnt have been shed.
too hurt, maybe.

a black and white rainbow. thats how I describe our kind.

it was great. really.
but we both had meant it to be a one-time-only thing.
we both knew that from the start.
thats probably why she was the person I opened up to the most.
it was the same for her, I think.

whatever it was.
it was beautiful.

for a few hours of that fateful day.(guess! it was 15th. ha!)and on the next.

she colored up my rainbow again.

this is to you mystery girl.I hope you find some color again.

*Quote of the week: Mystery girl - its only cheesy if the person in front of you is not attractive.

the honest post

2008-12-11T19:26:00.001+05:30

1. Im not a ladies man. specially on blogger (as proved by the AGWA fiasco on the previous post)

2. My life is going to change from 15th onwards. it SHOULD. i HAVE to do it.

3. life never turns out how it should have

4. NOTHING can beat a chocolate milkshake......unless its a frappe maybe. (OR if youre lactose intolerant! you old fart!)

5. must.get.out.of.suspended.animation.

6. screwingupthespacingsinsentencesisfun.

7. I hereby trademark 'feh'

8. Im thinking about changing the blog title. suggestions anyone?

9. you dont laugh at the zohan, and you dont mess with the deluded.

10. trying to gulp down salt....EVEN if its iodine fortified salt.....is never a good idea

11. I like girls. specially hot ones.

12. fresh and honest coffee and CCD have probably made a small fortune from me

14. 13 is an unlucky number.

13. but I try not to be superstitious.

15. I like girls. just wanted to assert on that.know any single hot girl by any chance?

16. Im hungry. and broke.

17. after all that ass-r*pe in 5th sem......am I eligible for compensation from the government?

18. anyone interested in writing me a guest post?

19. feh.

20. I like round figures(only in maths. not on girls)

my new discovery

2008-12-04T14:30:00.003+05:30

ladies and gentlemen.

I have made the greatest discovery ever(repeat. EVER) in a student's life.

exams tomorrow?
cant study?

really need to study, but cant concentrate?

too much to study, too less time?

need to think?
think real hard? be really creative?

no problem.
its not a dream anymore.

I have discovered a new class of physiologically active biomolecules which have the greatest potential of mental stimulation.

it makes you upto 766.78% smarter as long as you are in influence of the substance.

ok. NOW youre curious, right?

fine.
I'll share my secret with you guys.

ever wonder why ALL the genius ideas anyone ever had was in the bathroom?

what?

newton discovered it under an apple tree you say?
think my friend. think.

what was he doing under there, when that apple fell on his head?

taking. a. poo.

open air, my dear. open air.
its a whole new experience.

anyways. back to the topic.

I have derived this new class of biomolecules from bathroom fart.

I call the class - farteins (patent pending)(kind of like proteins huh?)

the class contains different molecules like:
farton, fartose, fartoic acid, poopein, paadain, and so on.

one sniff.
and your IQ quintuples.
as long as you smell it.

yup.

I think this might just be nobel prize material

so next time that you have a mental block

just go to the bathroom.

it works wonders.

p.s. divz : your answer: no. mosquitoes have lower intelligence. so.......they cant fart.

Of flowers, chocolates and candlelight dinners.

2008-12-02T14:43:00.005+05:30

yes.

no.

there is just NO probability that that shall ever be the topic of a post on this blog

feh.

oh.
wait.

it just did.

double feh.

make friends who will call each other by nicknames forever

2008-11-19T15:47:00.003+05:30

If you cant eat it,
throw it at your roommate

If you cant hit up on her,
then she must be a lesbian

Never buy aftershave,
borrow it from your friends

Never borrow toilet paper though,
buy it.......for god's sake(and yours)

free food always tastes better than food you have to pay for

if you sweat too much or smell,
blame it on the weather,
or say youre hyperthyroid

whats the need of a room freshener when you have deo
just spray it on your nose instead

hiatus

2008-11-12T16:40:00.003+05:30

due to outstanding results in the previous exams

and the proximity of the next exams

deluded has decided to not blog (is that cheering I hear? DAMN YOU! blogosphere!)

until his exams get over
or he gets frustrated of studies
or someone changes his mind
or a hot chick asks him to(please do)

however, for the betterment of mankind(spreading of the teachings of calcicism)

deluded and dhongi baba shall answer all questions that may be asked

so........if there is any topic that you would like them to speak about......leave a comment about it........and a whole post shall be dedicated to that topic

ANY queries and questions(Bahaha.......they mean the same thing.....dont they?) shall be written about in detail

peace.

calcium.

Warning: Perverted post ahead

2008-11-11T20:04:00.001+05:30

now this is very VERY interesting............

just half a day ago(read previous post)..........my profile visits were at 505(500 of that was self obtained)

and NOW......it has crossed 2500

that was an increment of of 2000......which was actually within the time period of 15 mins(I counted)

now you may have your own theories about it

but I have come to the most logical conclusion.........Im sure you'll all agree with me

the ONLY possiblity can be

a porn site was opened when I posted

and my link must have been next to the cutest sex bomb in it(or maybe they gave my picture next to it.........yes I. Am. Awesome.)

aaah........the endless possibilities

HOW ELSE can you explain this much traffic????

now you'll say.....no, that way it should have kept on increasing

but I disagree.

you see.....it must have had some REALLY freaky shit......so that google had to delete it or something.......to save the world from more perverted gore.

this has got to be it.

there is no other feasible explanation.

for 15 whole minutes on this awesome awesome day

deluded.............was a featured pornstar

you guys better get your autographs right now..........

and if anyone's interested......give me an encrypted message

you KNOW that youre unpopular.....

2008-11-11T05:02:00.004+05:30

when your profile reaches 500
and you know that you were the one who increased it from 0 to 495
and then from 499 to 500
and then 505

DAMN

I must be really jobless or attention seeking

this post is a redirect post

no funny thing from ME today

I shall be redirecting you to

one of the coolest posts that I have ever read

from shatto

enjoy

also,

another link to .......

one of the spunkiest blogger I know

when you read her, leave some comments

Im hoping she'll come back if the number of comments on the last post go to 100

P.S thank you saurus, for being the first one to read all of my posts from post no.1...........that must have been A LOT of coffee taken to keep awake all the while

P.P.S. Gale, you are the coolest fangirl EVER

New teachings of Calcism

2008-11-07T22:08:00.002+05:30

brought to you by Deluded.....

directly from the mouth of the spiritual guru - dhongi baba

Fear to be gay,
for he who not fear to be gay, must be gay

Never say no to free food, because free food is................free food!

when fighting a guy bigger than you, fight to your advantage........hit him in the nuts
when fighting a guy smaller than you, fight fair and square.........hit him in the nuts
NEVER fight a girl............they dont have nuts

never trust british men.........they have a stiff upper lip(facial paralysis from neurosyphillis) (thats an STD, you morons)

when at a zoo, feed the monkeys some peanuts from your neighbour's bag.
also, feed the sri lankan tour guide some.

diamonds are a girl's best friends..............only if you have small apparatus

never drink coke after you've had some mentos.............your stomach will explode,
be safe.........drink beer instead

it is your basic right to hit up on a hot girl........its more important than the right to eat

monkey see, monkey do
monkey not eat cow dung off the street! bad monkey!

never try and drink a blend of coffee and leftover curry

its always fun to start a metal song in full sound and glory at 3 in the morning...........when your roommate has an exam the next day and is suffering from an acute shortage of sleep

to piss off a girl.............say PMS
to make her happy again...........say pink teddy

wow. this religion is truly awesome.

anyway

quote of the week: Dr. Coffee - married people do not feel the need for masturbation

its a sad sad world

2008-11-04T14:36:00.001+05:30

and we're sad sad people

everything would change, only if you were willing to make things happen

the things that could happen, only if you were willing to think

the things that you could understand, you would, only if you were willing to listen

the things that I say, can affect you only if you are willing to listen

the words that I can say, are only small scattered pieces of what I think

the things that I think, are only the tip of what I feel

the smallest things we do, can affect even the biggest of persons

the biggest things we do, wouldnt matter to even the smallest of people

the most insignificant things are remembered forever

the most important things are forgotten in a second

I would rather be a panda

OH. MY. GOD.

2008-10-31T15:30:00.001+05:30

this is a notice to:

bhagwaan, god, jesus, allah, FSM.....................and the rest

I am henceforth denying any of your existence

Ive been brainwashed for a long time.......and now I finally understand

I can see the truth

none of you actually exist

the real god is-

CALCIUM

my new motto:

love, fame, money..........youth doesnt need such things. Its calcium. As long as there is calcium, everything will be alright.

what are all of you gasping about?

just think about it........

what are all the things that you have heard about the 'great one'?

1. he is everywhere.......even within ourselves
A: calcium

2. he decides our lives.......we cannot live without him
A: calcium

3. he shall smite you from within
A: pathologic calcification

4. it is he that keeps us happy
A: calcium

5. if he is not there.........we shall feel helpless, sad, alone
A: calcium deficiency

just think about it
everything that you have EVER heard about the wise one.............it all points to one god.......................the calcium god

I shall henceforth, start spreading the actual TRUE religion to the world
it shall be the most AWESOME religion of this world
and it shall sweep the whole world

I shall call it- CALCISM

join it.......before the calcium god decides to smite you from within(you'll die from pathologic calcification)

profile: calcism

current spiritual guru: Dhongi baba

current number of followers: 1

looking for: more followers, and money

latest teaching given by the avatar:

if you feel hungry. eat
if you feel thirsty. drink
if you wear glasses. look intelligent

P.S. 5th semester sessionals, I deny your existence too

P.P.S. you also, madam president.(so does most of India)YOU dont look too lively anyway

one of the BEST all time excuses

2008-10-27T03:36:00.003+05:30

my dear female and male readers
(hi mom! hi dad!)

I have not yet found the perfect excuse.....the one that can get you out of ANY situation

however

Ive found the next best thing

and UNFORTUNATELY for those of the less gifted people out there,

it.

is.

a.

bloodline.

It is-

hold your breath

.

.

Im a bengali.

Question. why are you always so lazy?
Excuse. Im a bengali
Implied. all bengalis are lazy

Q. will you do this work for me?
E. Im a bengali
I. Aye, f*ck off!

Q. why do you look like you havent showered in a week?
E. Im a bengali
I. Aye, f*ck off!

Q. why are you late to class?
E. Im a bengali
I. its hard to keep track of time with a big heavy bloodline in your veins

hmmmm.......

I could do this all day and all night long..........and it still wont decrease its excusing value

Q. why did you eat that week old food?
E. Im a bengali
I. we shall eat anything(that which doesnt kill you, makes you stronger)

Q. are you underage for this movie/club/drink?
E. Im a bengali
I. I SOOOO wanna see this A-rated movie/sexy people in skimpy clothes/jug of beer inside me

Q. are you drunk?
E. Im a bengali
I. *gulp gulp

Q. why do you hate the world?
E. Im a bengali
I. that means, I hate you too

Q. why are you so awesome?
E. Im a bengali
I. woohoooo

wow.
just wow.

Q. you know that you'll fail if you continue like this.........dont you?
E. Im a bengali
I. it doesnt matter, pass or fail, I'll still be a bengali......so I atleast get to work at the sweetshop next doors for free food

Q. why are you sleeping all the time?
E. Im a bengali
I. Zzzzzzzz

Q. will you donate some blood?
E. Im a bengali
I. Ive got blue blood

Q. do you have money?
E. Im a bengali
I. Im broke

HA!
there you go.
my friends, THAT is THE shit of all the shitload of excuses

feel free to use my discovery to your advantage(you can lie that youre a bengali)

Lesson learned: my ancestors have been everywhere where I could have gone, done everything better than I could have, done crazier shit than I can imagine to, AND also have been more mediocre and average than I have

Dammit!

P.S. also, comment, and leave your own Q.E.I.s for using this excuse

P.P.S. Jiggs, if youre reading this, UNBLOCK your blog.......Im addicted to that morning coffee freshness of your writing now

Q. isnt this supposed to come before the P.Ss and P.P.Ss?
E. Im a bengali
I. Aye! f*ck off

Q. why am I posting this at 4 am?
E. Im a bengali
I. mind your own business and circadian rhythm!

sometimes, some words just make sense

2008-10-22T22:05:00.000+05:30

isnt life so sad when all you do is live?

youre still careless, young nd helpless....
disappearing into a hollow void.
now, having witnessed sadness you should never have seen
crying tears that should have remained dry.
we may not be tough enough to live on truth alone,
but you know, we dont need to be.

p.s. ten points to the one who figures out where I got this from WITHOUT searching for it

p.p.s NO, I will not be making a parody of this.......its too much sense to make into nonsense

guest post: Ki

2008-10-19T18:05:00.003+05:30

Random thoughts about writing plus a tribute to Deluded:

Writing itself, to me, can sometimes be quite an effort. There are times when the words flow effortlessly, but at times I'm left hunting for words or tearing my hair out over a sentence that doesn't sound right. Then why do I write? As there could be nothing that can make you think, feel, express yourself AND lose yourself in it all at the same time than good writing.

Someone told me recently - "Your writing's like a 5 year old's. It has no style, no texture, no technique." I was quite annoyed, who wouldn't be? But when I went back and looked at my posts with a different perspective. Yes, they're not very eloquent, meaningful, moving etc. But hey, it brings out what I'm feeling in the best way I know how. My writing's a little piece of me. I wish I could sound deep, intense, worldly. But I guess I can offer just about a little honesty.

Which brings me (finally!) to Deluded. Or did he want me to go 'De-dude-d' like Express did?! ANYWAY, his writing has a nice balance - it's brilliant in so many ways, yet so simple. He has that honesty too but in a fun way!

He has this knack for bringing out things that will have you pondering in the funniest way ever. It's so easy to relate to his writing! Everytime I read something he writes, I go - "Hey! ME TOO! Why didn't I think of that?"

But it's not that easy. We can't all be AS smart now, can we? Or even as good looking or as popular? (YES! He did pay me for writing that last bit. Or atleast he will. :P) But seriously, this blog is one of my favourites. Every post makes me smile and I hope that the blog and Deluded's writing goes a long way. :)
As does his dream of being a doctor 'who earns a lot'. AND the one about 'getting, drunk, getting high and getting laid' to quote the great man himself. :P

And since I've done too much tareef, a mention of 'girly things' should nullify that, no? So here goes - "love, amazing, sweet, clothes, phone and wedding" words that Deluded thinks girls included in EVERY testimonial. Well, so be it baby, SO BE IT. :)

5th semester- end sem exams

2008-10-16T18:32:00.004+05:30

random conversations in these troubled days

day before the exam-

friend: how goes?
me: there was a pole up my ass in the morning, in the afternoon a bus went in, now there's a whole circus in there
friend: ......
me: i think the whole continent of australia might fit in tommorow

random person: lets just get this over with quickly, Im so used to it now that I dont even need painkillers

random person: whats the use? is there really any use at all? f**king sadists!

morning of the exam-

friend: a guy, in the morning, eating without brushing...........thats the sign that says exams are going on

friend: no use taking a dump now, I'll take it in the evening......it'll be much easier then

5 mins before the exam-

random person: look! hot girl

.....50 guys turn simultaneously

after the exam is over

random guy1: I thought that only I would get r*ped today.
random guy2: en masse my friend, en masse

guy1: I hate microbiology.........they f**k me every single time
guy2: I hate forensics........they r*ped me today as well
guy1: wait.........wasnt today the micro paper?
guy2: oh.
guy1: ........
guy2: so THATs why I thought that most of the paper was out of course

random engg guy1: wanna get drunk?
random engg guy2: no.......Ive got studies
random engg guy1: you sound like a medical student
random engg guy2: yup.......lets go get drunk

random med guy overhearing: I wish.......

Ki: so....have you decided what kind of doctor you want to become?
me: yes, Ive given it a lot of thought, and Ive come to the conclusion that I want to become a doctor who earns a lot of money

friend: jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle all the way..........santa claus just came to town and f**ked me ALL the way

me: more than 20 mins of online time on facebook makes a guy gay

Guest post: Divinediu

2008-10-12T18:23:00.005+05:30

divinediu meets deluded

............................And divinediu gets dher saara homemade chocolate!! Yum!

Well, I had just set up a blog and was browsing through blogger profiles. I come across this-

deluded
interests:
everything except studies (specially the mind boggling heavier-than-thou medical books)

I had to take a peek. And I find his Memories of ragging from 1st year post which is SO funny. I was laughing. Like crazy.
Re reading. Laughing.
And again.
Yet again.
Yeah, imma little cuckoo like that. But you just read the post, you'll totally understand what I'm talking about! (Mum came in and saw there was no phone in my hand and me laughing and was kinda worried, but that's another story!!)

He was the first one to comment as well. So saying that he inspired me to write, wouldn't be wrong, right? ;)
(Now you've got to decide if that is good or bad!)

He cracks you up. You've read his stuff. You know. :)
Sarcasm. Acid dripping sarcasm, most of it.
Not the boring, silly, pathetic, childish PJs you get to hear from people, mostly.

He cares.
He has put up with a lot of my crap.. A lot of it, believe me. I haven't even put my best friend through such shit. :P
And he handled it amazingly well. I couldn't have done better!
Heck! I'd have sucked big time, myself!!
When was down, he spammed my blog. Sweet or what?? :)

He asks you questions.
Thousands of them. No, strike that. BIZILLIONS of them.
One. Great.
Two. Fine.
Three. Good
Four.
Five.
Six- and I go aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's like throwing china at you. You HAVE to catch em. Quick!!
ARGH!!
I don't like that kind of pressure!! :P
Well, again, the good thing is I can tell him that I don't want to answer questions no more! :)

He doesn't sleep. I don't know why. I still don't get why people like orkut so much either.
Take any random odd hour of the day. Deluded is awake. You bet.

He is sweet. Damn sweet.
How? Yesterday, he shaved. (Yeah, that's worth mentioning like twenty more times!!)
Oh, what the heck! I will say it 20 more times!!
He shaved.He shaved.He shaved.He shaved.He shaved.He shaved.He shaved.He shaved.He shaved.He shaved.He shaved.He shaved.He shaved.He shaved.He shaved.He shaved.He shaved.He shaved.He shaved.He shaved. :P
That sounded so retarded, but anyway....
He also brought me a whole load of the homemade chocolates!

There you go, deluded. Your guest post. The first one you're getting and I'm so happy to be writing this for you. :)

Oh yeah. I almost forgot!
Cars. Bikes. Beards. Anger. Dirty nails(?). Sports shoes. Skulls. Spiders. Violence. Non vegetarianism.
Idk. I included all that so that would nullify the girliness in this post. Since you seem to have some sort of an allergy to that. ;)

Case history of AGWA

2008-10-08T10:50:00.006+05:30

due to popular demand(and due to the presence of royalty on my blog)

I shall be presenting a case history on AGWA
(for all you non medical people, here is your chance of having a peek on how we med students present cases to our teachers(keep an ear out next time you fall sick)) (for all medical students- kill me, I let some details off, because they didnt fit......this is MY blog, not yours)

Name: Anonymous girl with attitude(AGWA)
Age: 20's
Sex: yes please!
Occupation: occupied
Address: doesnt give one (can be traced)

patient is conscious and cooperative

Chief Complaints:
inability to fall asleep, short-sightedness, dark circles, feels the world is worthless, lack of appreciation - since 6 years
she also complains of too many crappy bloggers in blogosphere with not enough good ones having "spunk"

History Of Presenting Illness:

patient complains of having all these complaints since 6 years ago when she discovered the existence of the computer world(Acute onset??) . she says she sometimes feels that it calls her to it and that whenever she tries to leave it, she feels depressed and lonely without it(withdrawal syndrome??)

she complains of inability to fall asleep since one day after she found out the comp, and also suggests that this may possibly be related to the 20 something cups of coffee she has while surfing the net

she also complains of severe short sightedness and dark circles under her eyes since a day after, and hints that her staring at the screen from 2 mm apart may possibly have something to do with it

feeling of superiority and lack of appreciation started appearing after the 3rd day of starting symptoms. she says that this may possibly be due to the fact that she writes awesomely, and the rest are all "junk"

she started feeling the lack of "spunk" since the time some anonymous "jerk" wrote that word in her blog, this may also be somehow related to the time when she was a little girl and a dog barked on her even AFTER she gave it a cookie

Past history:
AGWA was relatively normal until she had an anonymous comment criticising her on her blog
she then completely burst up, and said that the world will see its first superhero with the power to destroy cyberlives
AGWA rose to fame when she made the world's first anonymous con on an unsuspecting blogger who tried to flirt with her, by inviting everyone to a party and ignoring the said young prankster.
she made this into her modus operandi after that and uptil now has destroyed the cyberlives of thousands and shattered the ego of tens of thousands
AGWA was awarded the anonymous blogger of the year award in 2002 and has since been retaining the trophy each year

Medical History:no significant history

Drug history: definitely(caffeine)

Family history: no one else of her family or friends spend as much time on the comp as she does

Personal history: wont tell

Differential Diagnosis: there is NO differential for AGWA!!!! she's one of a kind

General Physical examination: wont let me do it

Systemic examination: as IF

Further Manangement: stay clear of her as long as your cyberheart is beating, also, try to grow some spunk

welcome

2008-10-07T09:17:00.004+05:30

I know why youre here

youre here to read about me making fun of myself for YOUR entertainment on my blog!

but today, things will change

I wont make fun of myself on my blog anymore today

I shall make fun of myself on SOMEONE ELSE'S blog

here's the link

http://may-i-live-happily-ever-after.blogspot.com/2008/10/guest-blogger-deluded.html

dont be lazy.........leave some comments!!

and if youre wondering..who that hot girl writing so excellently is.......she's Ki(I think thats a buddhist name which means life....or something like that)

please dont bookmark HER page, when you havent bookmarked mine!!!
ie. if you bookmark her, then bookmark me too!

.
that was pathetic.

*sob
I no longer have even my own cyberspace to go sob in

plagiarism!

2008-10-04T12:22:00.005+05:30

hey you guys

my mood isnt too good right now

thats because Ive been copied
the imaginative self sustaining genius that you all know has been copied

let me show you two poems:

this is the FAKE COPIED VERSION:

GONE-

I held a crystal in my hand,
So perfect and sparklingly clear...
With a sweep of a hand
Broken, shattered into pieces...

I held a diamond in my hand,
A perfect cut,
So beautiful...
In an instant, snatched away...

I held a rose in my hand,
With petals so delicate and fragrance so sweet...
Days passed, its petals turned brown
One by one, they fell to the ground...

Life is consistently inconsistent,
Nothing definite...
With a snap of a finger, everything stops
In a blink of an eye, everything's gone

isnt that SOO fake and unimaginative???

right?? right???

THIS is my original super AWESOME version.....

GONER-

I held a crystal in my hand
I held a diamond in my hand
I held a rose in my hand

no I do not have 3 hands
the crystal and the diamond were in the same hand

I sold the crystal
I sold the diamond

I got rich and asked a girl out for dinner
I gave her the rose in my hand
I got slapped in in the end

ah well
life is crap
nothing good.....
With a snap of a finger, everything stops
with a slap of hand, my reputation drops

you guys!!!
you've got to help me

please
the next time you see this author's[some guy named MDK] books......dont read his stuff
(apparently, while I only publish posts, HE has gone and publised a book)
and the next time you see this author....take his autograph and then tell him that he writes bad poetry.....

so help me, yeah?

P.S. I hope I dont get a lawsuit because of this ;)

Praise to the lord

2008-10-03T11:59:00.002+05:30

have you ever had really deep questions pop into your minds?

I generally do

like.....

why are all the ceilings of all rooms painted with very light colors? (no answers to that one yet)

why does salman khan always take his shirts off? (is he a naturalist?)

why did that girl slap me after I asked her what PMS meant? (do you know?)

why do they call a burrito a burrito? (does that not sound vulgar to you?)

why is there no space time difference if you accelerate a tachyon?

why am I a genius of such epic proportions?
..........

yeah, I made up all of those.....except the last 2 ones

so lately Ive been thinking

what does one need the most in life?

have you ever thought that?what do you think is the answer?

if I get more than one reply to this
then I will post the shocking conclusion that I reached

one of my wierd surveys

2008-07-03T13:08:00.002+05:30

yeah I do surveys
weird ones

and nobody pays me
its just out of curiosity

so now me and one of my friends have just concluded one such thing(comprising of a crowd of 150 medical students)

the surprising results

Most Frequently Asked Question(MFAQ) by a non medical GUY to a medical GUY is always related to shagging

MFAQ by a non medical GAL to a medical GAL is always related to menstrual cycles and their variations

MFAQ by a non medical GUY to a medical GAL(except of course, their numbers) is 'I have a fever, what do I take?'(or some other common ailment)

MFAQ by a non medical GAL to a medical GUY is 'I have a fever, what do I take?'(or some other common ailment)

yeah
gender gap still rules

memories of ragging (from 1st year)

2008-06-20T21:20:00.003+05:30

I remember it like it was an hour ago.

the terror of the seniors.
the horror of being caught by one.

I remember
I had a tight schedule-
wake up(7 50), scratch my butt, mentally punch my roommate for his loud devotional singing in the morning, brush my teeth,dress up(I wish it was more like an engineering class- where you could go to college in shorts), go to class(8 00)(notice the absence of the routine morning bathroom rituals)(also any breakfast), come back(10 00), shit, wash face(bathing optional) go back for practicals(still nothing in my stomach), go to mess directly in groups of 20 and pray to god no senior catches you(12 30), try to sleep, dissection at 2, come back to room at 5, sleep and lose track of time. wake up. go to mess(this time accompanied by a anti-ragging security guard aptly named 'doberman '), get jeered at by everyone, come back to hostel, watch movies till 3 am, and sleep while one is still running.

yup. it was pretty hectic.

also did I mention the "freshers dress code" put on us by the 2nd years?
formal shirt(buttoned up to the collar), formal pants(without belt), black leather shoes(without shoe laces) and hair cut till 1 mm from the scalp(KMC 1-even the barbers knew the code)........yeah it was easy to spot us from a mile away(the point exactly)

anyways....off to some of my ragging experiences

the seniors would make ingenious ways to make us embarrass ourselves in public, however the most intensive things would be done in private.

senior: did you pass nursery?
me: (thinking its a trick question).... yes sir
s: so did you learn any nursery rhymes?
m: yes sir
s: which ones?
m: mmm....all the normal ones(1st mistake)
s: normal? then what are the abnormal ones?
m: stuttering........all of them are normal sir
s: then why do you call it normal?
m: (totally confused now) I didnt mean that.....sorry sir
s: ok, ok do you remember the story of the thirsty crow?
m: kind of
s: there's no "kind of" in medicine, is it a yes or a no?
m: yesss sir
s: good. narrate it to me in short sentences. and remember it word to word. I will ask you to repeat it.
m: ok sir(I know Im a goner now)
m: there was a crow. he was thirsty. then he saw a pot. the pot was half filled with water. the crow couldn't drink the water that way. so he found a pile of stones. and he picked up those stones. then he started to put the stones into the pot one by one. the pot started filling until his beak could reach the water. then he drank the water. and he flew away happily.
s: good story
s: ok, now repeat it with one modification
m(waiting with bated breath)
s: after each sentence add the words 'in my ass'
m: silence
s: do it!

the rest as you know is history.

My first dancing lesson:

s: do you know how to dance?
m: (gulp) sorry sir, no sir
s: ok, I will teach you
m: ok sir
s: have you ever seen a person making jalebi?(its a spiral thing like sweet specific to north india)
m: yes sir
s: ok, now move your hands as if you are making a jalebi
I do it
s: now move your legs like that(in a circular motion)
I do it
s: now move your ass like that
I do it
s: now do those simultaneously(try it is my advice to see the result)
I do it
s: good, now you know how to dance.

the simplicity of it all!

ah! good old first year.

forensick medicine

2008-05-28T22:41:00.001+05:30

ever thought that all forensics staff are perverts?
well Im probably not alone when I say this.

they just HAVE to be perverts.
I mean what do you expect? just see any textbook of forensics and open the chapter sexual offences .....you'll see what I mean.

the HOD for example took our classes on it.
and by god was it a learning experience.

you learn about how people think dressing up as a person of the opposite sex is erotic...wierd but I'll allow it
but how can anyone even imagine stuff like pee and shit to be that?
and then you learn new terms like catamite and bagpiping(yukk)

anyways
now comes the reason why I started the post.

sessional exams are going around right now.
just gave the forensics practical. and the viva.

now this prof. must be totally addicted to sex......because he kept asking me to define one sexual offence after another........and there I go using up all of my imagination for it.
and all my answers stared the same way.....sir, when a person derives sexual pleasure by blah blah blah.

the best one was when he asked me what a catamite is(google it if you want)
my reply-
sir, when you sodomise a young child that child is called a catamite

it was only when the two PGs sitting nearby started to laugh that I realized my faux pas......

of course it was unintentional so he let me off......

or was it? ;)

my dhobi--The Sadist!

2008-04-12T12:24:00.000+05:30

I woke up.
I was pitifully late for class.
brushed my teeth, brushed my hair....
quickly changed
forensics! have to wear formal or no attendance!
only one clean set of clothes left
got the shirt on
just getting the pants on and shit......... its button is already shattered into pieces
there goes another morning class of mine

which of course made me write this blog.

All dhobis are sadists
I mean right now during hostel life, specially in the medical line (the engineering ones are mostly crap.......you can wear even shorts and t shirts to class) its a big thing
a dirty labcoat can get you thrown out of class(damn those profs....why dont they get a life)

so I have had experiences with quite a few dhobis

with the first one, it was that the clothes came back dirties than when I gave it to him......and by got are the clothes dirty when I get through with them
so I had to start washing my own clothes

then there was a brief stint with one who claimed he dry cleaned the clothes
well the clothes were clean and all
but cant you learn to iron(why do we call it press????) them?

and now the latest of the trilogy has appeared
the button tearer
ok....now I get if you accidentally tear the button off
but how the hell can anyone break it into 4 pieces every time?
and getting buttons is so hard here

now imagine the kind of lifestyles that these 3 dhobis have, by the way they treat clothes

no 1. god knows mate......he's dirtier than me for sure, maybe he wears my stuff after Im done with them, or maybe he uses a rock for a detergent(there are other things but those are to gross for me to put here)

no.2 leads the most unorganised life, and has the most unkempt hair Ive seen

no.3 the sadist................do i need to say anything?

now Im looking for dhobi no.4
theres already small piles of clothes all over m room

Today !

2008-03-16T12:40:00.000+05:30

yeah
we're having an inter batch college fest right now
and as usual I deemed it pretty boring to participate or attend

well it was microbiology class and I was bored
so anyways I was looking at the events later in the day
and there I saw a poetry recitation competition on the topic - "today"

and so I entered in it
now it didnt win(the proffs are not yet THAT open)
but it did open some mouths wide and turn some heads

now as you expect most ppl would write about....something like the changing past....tomorrow......boring stuff like that
this is my version.........(Uncensored)

TODAY

there was a girl
she had a crush
there was a boy
he wanted an adrenaline rush
one day they hooked up
there was magic in the air
they had chemistry
they had something on their minds
as the evening progressed
they had more and more fun
and he said that, 'the good times are yet to begin'

but then at night, something unexpected happened
she wanted protection
she asked if he had 'it'
but he didnt
so the boy went off
she cried all night
she used to feel miserable
she used to say there's no tomorrow

but then one day
she was watching TV
she was surfing the channels
she stopped at channel V
and suddenly she saw something special
a ray of hope in an Ad
and old filmstar singing and dancing
and then she said the magic words
"to save tomorrow, use "today" "

the girl was happy
she had found her answer
she knew the boy would come back now
because
"today" is the best contraceptive in India
"today" has the least side effects
its easy to insert
and it doesnt even hurt
there's no pain, there's just gain
dont have to use a condom
dont have to feel lame
"today" is the best player of the game

......

for the uninitiated, 'today' is a brand of spermicidal sponge marketed in India by the Govt.

end of the line

2008-03-16T12:37:00.000+05:30

I tried the 20 things but not all
but yeah I did fall short of target

and I had fun
my promise to myelf..... I shall no longer have a boring med life

bleak power

2007-12-20T12:06:00.000+05:30

yes
the plan was good but the execution imperfect
and also a lot of people have a problem with me wearing my shoes on the opposite feet
oh well I'll try that later in a more conducive environment I guess(means in college)
next on the list is one that seems simple but is very hard for me to actually do
give my bro mom and dad a hug without any reason
going to try that now
others on my list of twenty are
drink 20 glasses of water in an hour
eat twenty samosas at one go

lets see hmmm?

teen spirit!

2007-12-18T09:48:00.000+05:30

lately it came to my mind that I'll be out of my teens in 2 more months
and then I started thinking that there are so many things that I wanted to do in my teenhood but couldnt!
and so I have made a list of things that I should do before I turn twenty

my first was to run around just in my undies in the middle of the night(its winter and it was about 13 degrees celsius at that time) on my roof

and thus checkpoint one completed

it really is cold here right now and it did take a lot of willpower to take off my clothes but still..... I did it

today I'll be doing my second thing
that is spend a whole day wearing my shoes on the wrong foot

the death of the doctors

2007-12-05T20:19:00.000+05:30

I always wanted to make a perfect beginning for this blog.......thats why I kept on thinking and mostly delaying the start.

but now this topic is just too much important to just not post anything about it

Im talking of course of the recent parliament decision to make mbbs now 6.5 years from the previous 5.5 years
the bloody bald headed blood sucking moths have no sense....NO SENSE at all in their head
in fact making a medical pun....their cranial cavity is just that..... a cavity!

as a friend of mine remarked
it takes around an year or two extra just to get into a medical college
now you add 6.5 to it for an mbbs degree which is the lowest rung of our society
and now Im sure that by the time we clear our mbbs they'll make the PG have an extra year too
add 4 for that(now getting into a better rung)
and 4 more for specialisation(something with which at least a doc can walk with his head straight)
assuming that there is at least a drop in between of all the degrees(yes! if you havent noticed getting into a medical college is extremely hard)

and assuming a person is a normal 18 year old when he passes 12th grade
by the time he's done finishing his medical studies in India he will be....
18+18.5(2+6.5+1+4+1+4)=36.5
meaning basically he'll be 37 by that time
up to his neck with loans
and quite out of his prime in another 3-4 years

thus the average fresh doctor by the time I pass out will be 37 , frustrated with life,single, and will expire in another 3 or 4 years

assuming that the indian med students will go along with what the govt says
it will come back to haunt them greatly

imagine the situation 20 years from now

because of the little amount of students who take biology at their 10th grade
because of the very little amount of biology students who get to go to medical college
because of the meagre amount of doctors passing out every year
because of the even more meagre amount of doctors who get to do PG
because of the microscopic amount who get to specialise
because the doctors who do, will have a loan worth 100 times their weight in gold
because the doctors who pass out will have lost their spark
because the doctors who pass out will be too old to handle much stress

there will be less than a single doctor per 2-3 village
9-10 per hospital
20-30 per city
about 200 per state
the doctors will never be able to take up such a workload even if they were 25 less alone 37
medical costs for the normal person would shoot up
it will take a day's wait to just get the doctor to examine you for 3 mins
most of the medical cases which would have been prevented will flourish
and almost no one will be able to handle an emergency outbreak

OF COURSE this is assuming the current batch of doctors would stay in India
what with now about 70% of seats reserved for the ST/SC/OBC(yeah one more crap decision of the bloody govt)
making it cutthroat competition for the general category
most of the doctors will be forced to go abroad to pursue higher studies
and do you think that they'll come back to such a hellhole from there?

to the politician crap -
you who call it brain drain
you who say that its because we are selfish
you who think you are so high and mighty that you can decide our fates
if you ever had a brain and if you could ever use it
there would be no such brain drain!

but it wont be long before it does become reality>